Oftentimes resilience is built in the trenches of life. You went through something really hard or painful, and, with or without crutches, you have made it through alive. It might be something you wished it didn’t happen, or that no one should ever have to go through. Or there are the occasional crises and obstacles, that sooner or later, we all face. These COVID-19 days are also giving us a “resilience” workout.

As the 18th century Irish writer, Oliver Goldsmith said, “our greatest glory in living lies not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” More importantly, research shows that, in fact, obstacles and hardships act as a catalyst for more engaged, authentic and motivated individuals. Take Starbucks’ former CEO, Howard Shultz, for instance. Growing up in the inner city in a very poor family, he witnessed his family’s struggles to make ends meet. When his father was laid off after an injury, with no health insurance to cover medical expenses, he vowed to build a company that his father would have been proud to work for, one that respected his employees and offered healthcare protection even for part-time employees.

So how to work the resilience muscles such that regardless of what happens to us happens for us on the long run?

• Always cling to something positive. Train yourself to see and be grateful for at least one positive thing in your life, even in the midst of the storm. As long as you can still count your blessings, you are not defeated. Hope dies last and with it, our humanity.

• Frame what the story is. Journal what’s happening, objectively frame what you are facing, possible outcomes and ultimately what may or may not be under your control. Depending on the situation, think about your worst case scenario (and see public speaking coach Maryna Shkvorets’ article on this).

• Allow yourself to feel negative emotions. If you are angry, hurt, upset…those are emotions you shouldn’t try to repress. Give those emotions the outlet required for their processing. Unresolved emotions get trapped in your body and, sooner or later, they will resurface in more toxic and emotional ways.

• Power through action. Identify one step that you could take to mitigate or minimize what’s happening. Oftentimes after you allow for your emotions to come out, or you have journaled about what you are going through, you can think more clearly in terms of next steps or actions to take. Or simply show some self compassion via an activity that you know is life-giving. Or reach out to to help those who, after all, are less fortunate than yourself – moving the focus away from your own problems will give you some respite from figuring out your own, while putting things into a more balanced perspective.

Robert Glazer, author of Elevate: Push Beyond Your Limits notes that “behind each story of achievement, you will find many untold stories of failure and adversity that needed to be overcome.  In this life, you will face unexpected setbacks; it’s just a matter of how you respond and if you keep going.”

While we can’t control what life throws at us, we can control our response. Resilience is therefore one of the most precious gifts to give ourselves – because it’s the key to a life of overcoming and with overcoming comes thriving, growth and authenticity.

To set the right expectations, acing an interview requires preparation in terms of verbal presentation, identifying why you might be the best fit for the position and communicating persuasively on such conviction.

Whatever or wherever you are interviewing for, start with the belief that you can make your mark in the process if you show up as the best and most authentic self. Irrespective of your level of experience compared to other candidates, your skillset, character, values and potential do set you apart.

How to demonstrate that you are the best candidate in an interview process?

• Do due-diligence on your prospective employer prior to going into the interview. Candidates who struggle to come up with a few descriptive items on the prospective organisation and its mission, or fail to be specific in their interest might make it to the top of the list based on experience and skills, but if two candidates score the same in all except of the specific interest shown, the candidate displaying the most specific interest in the organization or industry is more likely to move to the next phase in the interviewing process.
• Find out who you will be interviewing with. In most cases, you will receive ahead of time information on your interviewers – names and job titles. You could think about the type of questions that they would ask based on their roles. If you understand their potential pain points, you will better relate during the interviews. Such connection will also give you a better chance to understand how you will be interacting with those folks, and ultimately, if the team and role are, after all, a good fit for you.
• Increase your level of energy. Interviewing for a position can be draining and emotional especially if the role appears as the ideal next step for you or if you are in desperate need of getting a (new) job. Pressure and anxiety may take a toll on your confidence and presence. Don’t wallow in those negative emotions and show your strength and motivation for getting this role by doing whatever is necessary to get yourself back in the zone. Reach out to your coach, friends or mentors to regain a peak state in terms of energy and self confidence. Or do whatever works for you (e.g. going to the gym, meditating, listening to music) to reach your peak mental performance. Such positive vibe will make you a more memorable candidate, with enough energy and strength to take on the world.
• Be mindful about underselling or overselling your experience and expertise. There is a balance to achieve in terms of communicating on your prior experience and expertise. If your communication is too light or informal, it could falsely signal a low level of experience. The opposite is true as well – complicated and complex terms, used to oversell experience and skillsets could easily be ground for questioning that at the end would only demonstrate a shallow level of experience. Balance your responses with practical examples of your achievements – this will be a better and more honest way to demonstrate your expertise in a professional way.
• Know your learning curve in the role. It can be one of the questions asked. Or you can talk about it, which demonstrates your expectations going into the job are realistic, while knowing what your focus will be on during the first few days, weeks or months on the job. This may also give clues to organizations as to the appropriate support to be put in place for you for a smooth transition and successful integration.
• Prepare your answers to classical questions. They are called classical because they are being asked often in an interview. Those are questions like what your biggest strengths, weaknesses, achievements or failures are, or what are your leadership style, strategy and vision for the new role. Even if these questions are ultimately not being asked, you have rehearsed them enough to be able to more easily and naturally place positives, examples and stories on your strengths into the discussion. Same goes for questions to ask back – for instance on the role, company or its culture. This will spare you some moments of awkwardness if you have no questions for your interviewers.

Preparing for an interview is ultimately digging inside you to find out what makes you, you, then to communicate explicitly, compellingly and enthusiastically on the alignment between your most authentic and best self and the advertised position. It becomes easy when you have done the “digging” work and at times after going through a number of interviews – as Steve Maraboly says “rejection is just redirection to something better”.

In these unprecedented COVID-19 times, more than ever, we are connected by this pandemic. We all face a similar struggle to make sense of each day, weather the crisis and keep sanity. At the same time, two parallel worlds exist – one with people at home in isolation, another one with heroes fighting the pandemic and caring for the sick. Connection and separation co-exist.

We live this paradox of separation and connection at a smaller scale too. As human beings, we crave for connection and belongingness. Maslow’s pyramid of needs includes the need for connection once basic physiological and safety needs are met. However, separation is unavoidable. Our personalities, experiences, backgrounds and roles in life are different: one cannot fully comprehend what another person is feeling, living or doing. Therefore separation, at a smaller or larger degree, is inherent.

So how can we strive in the midst of this paradox of connection and separation, between the yearning to belong and connect, and the unavoidability of separation?

• Embrace your purpose and differences. We all have our paths in life. When we step into our own purpose and potential, the connections among individuals and communities are enriched and more authentic. Anything short of it makes for a suboptimal connection, leading to frustration or separation.

• Surround yourself with like minded people. There is an African proverb that says “if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”. A community of like minded people is a catalyst for growth and therefore stronger connection.

• Filter out negativity. Negativity can take multiple forms. At times, negativity may come from people we most love. Without an exit strategy in the realm of options in this case, what we can control is how much weight to give to other people’s actions or words.

• Stop making assumptions. Hurt comes when we let fears and past experiences interpret actions and words for us. The text your friend hasn’t responded to yet …it could simply be that your friend is having a long and tiring day.

• Increase empathy but don’t lower your standards. Developing empathy challenges our beliefs by forcing us to see things from another person’s point of view. Building a bridge across two positions however doesn’t mean we should compromise on our values and principles.

• Clarify your beliefs and values. What unites or separates us is ultimately found in our values and beliefs. Used as a compass, they will shape our decisions for connection vs separation and give us the courage to move forward with our choices.

The pitfall of this paradox is two-fold:

• Unhealthy balance towards connection or separation, which might result in unfulfillment (either because we are too busy connecting rather than walking into our purpose, or because we feel disconnected, and therefore unfulfilled).
• Rationalize a behavior, emotion or response, which might ultimately work against us. In his book “How you will measure your life“, Harvard Business School professor, Dr. Clayton Christensen, talks about the concept of marginal cost thinking in life and business: “The marginal cost of doing something ‘just this once’ always seems to be negligible,...but the full cost will typically be much higher. …It suckers you in, and you don’t see where that path is ultimately headed or the full cost that the choice entails.”

What we allow to connect or separate us becomes significant.

Our beliefs shape our actions, our actions shape our characters, and our characters shape our lives.

During these unchartered times, unwillingly to all of us, COVID-19 connects us across nations, social statuses, and generations… Let us also be connected – and not separated -by our positivity, strength and responsibility in response to this crisis.

Also known as…how we feel during those days of COVID-19

There are chapters in life when uncertainty or hardship might feel overwhelming. The act of living turns into a survival act, entangled in thoughts of stress, worry or uncertainty. Over time and as we experience both the good and the bad, we are confronted with two choices when a new crisis occurs: (1) dwell on the negative and become numb to what life might still be gifting us with, or (2) see through and beyond the pain, the uncertainty or the uncomfortable.

Many of us are feeling stuck those days during the COVID-19 pandemic. We wish we could touch the Reset button and go back to normal. I do too…but for now, it is impossible to change what we are going through. However, what we can control is how we respond to those unprecedented times. As Maya Angelou said, “if you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude“.

So how to minimize the feelings of being stuck during those COVID-19 days?

– Guard your mind: We can only change our attitudes when we take control of our thoughts and actions. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day – take guard of what’s going through your mind and hit Replace button every time thoughts of panic or discouragement emerge. Replace those thoughts with what resonates the most with you in your different roles. If you are a parent, you might tell yourself “I am calm and loving” a lot more often those days. If you are a leader having to make critical decisions, you might tell yourself “I am a leader with integrity and critical thinking”. Find your mantra thoughts to source beauty, positivity and strength. For example, you don’t need to be a religious person to find beauty in a verse like this: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” Set aside time to ground yourself in positivity via meditation, prayer, reading,…whatever works for you.

– Reassess: Life as we know it has come to a halt. Maintaining the same expectations now as prior to this crisis is unrealistic, irresponsible or dangerous. Do an inventory of the activities, tasks, things you were doing before and realistically adjust your schedule and priorities in buckets of what’s critical, important, non essential or a nice to do,…

– Plan for life after COVID-19: Sooner or later, this crisis shall be through. For some of us unfortunately, it will be with an immensurable amount of loss of loved ones, jobs or businesses. But humanity will not go extinct- many of us, hopefully, will return to normal with just the inconvenience of the lockdown. National economies will recover eventually. In the Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and a Holocaust survivor, shares the secret to surviving dramatic experiences: “man…can only live by looking to the future and this is his salvation in the most difficult moment.”

– Stay grateful: While we can find a gazillion reasons why we feel cheated by life nowadays, there is likely at least a handful of reasons why you should still be grateful for during these times where life itself is under threat. If you have kids, working on a “gratefulness” journal during those days could keep them busy and focused at least for a few minutes 🙂 (win-win).

– Establish a routine and set specific objectives: A lot of things have changed. It might be counter to think a routine is even possible. However, a routine and keeping yourself accountable are critical to getting through this crisis. Set specific goals for the day and week both work and home side. Having some clear and specific goals, deadlines, schedules, projects to work on will help you stay focused and give you a sense of control. If you work a few hours per day with the kids at home, set an intention for what you will tackle during those hours as opposed to scrambling to get through everything. Even if you might only be able to accomplish two out of three goals set out for the day, you will relish in the progress and having made it through another day.

– Be a role model: Were you prepared or not, embracing this before or not, you are in the spotlight. How you react and act those days is saying more about who you are than all the accomplishments and accolades from the past. As a parent or as a leader, you are making decisions and exhibiting a certain behavior in response to this crisis. This doesn’t mean to repress negative emotions. During those uncharted times, we are all anxious and worried. However, use this to channel your communications and actions. As you feel those negative emotions rising, step up to encourage your teams or family members knowing the pain points are likely the same. Be a positive role model.

Yes, it’s not the best of times. We don’t know how much and how long this pandemic will affect each one of us. But as in every difficulty, there is some power in the experience and there is a choice moment by moment: (1) be a worrier or (2) be a warrier. Ask yourself how you want to remember those times. As times of worry or times of walking through the fire? As times of relinquishing control or staying in control of your thoughts and actions?

This shall pass as well.

We live in unprecedented times of crisis with the COVID-19 pandemic taking lives, jobs and a lifestyle that we have naturally taken for granted.

In January, at the beginning of a new year and decade, most of us were focused on new year and new decade resolutions. In less than two months, we are forced into quarantine such that the spread of the virus is contained.

In circumstances we have no control or choice over, it is critical to (1) prioritize safety; (2) not fall prey to negative emotions and (3) rally to find meaning in a situation that makes no sense.

There is no way one can find a silver lining in this terrible socio-economic calamity. However, as an eternal optimist, I cannot imagine any other generation in the history of civilization that could weather this crisis better than us. We are endowed with an incredible amount of human, social, technological, scientific and economic potential. In the face of adversity and challenge to our own existence, such amazing potential can devise breakthroughs, innovations, and new ways of thinking and acting that will leapfrog us as a society or protect future generations against similar or worst crises. So I cling to this hope and belief instead of panic and worry, no matter how justifiable those latter feelings might be.

Life is not what happens to us but what meaning we attach to it.

Therefore the main meaning I attach to this Coronavirus attack is RESET.

The reboot could take a few days, weeks or months but here what this reset may result in for each one of us:

–Increased responsibility. In moments of crisis like today’s, we are called to responsibility at multiple levels. We are first called to:

– Responsibility to each other, as a community and society, by abiding by what medical experts and governments are calling us to do.

– Responsibility towards our own families by keeping safety first, and maintaining a sense of calm, peace and routine.

– Responsibility towards our employers, teams, institutions by doing the best circumstances allow us to do and anchor our responses in values that could be at test now. Overall, increased responsibility over our choices and responses, which we have always had but may have never come with such cruel consequences.

– Improved relationships. Ironically, we have been practicing for a while some amount of “social distancing” via fading relationships left to social media posts. While in parallel, our busy lifestyles have at times left us without energy for the relationships that counted the most, our own families. Forced into quarantine, we have the time to talk, love, care, be genuine and vulnerable in those relationships that we identify in moments of crisis like today’s as most important to us.

– Pruning. Faced with such amount of potential or real loss and uncertainty, we are pruning. Tasks, things, relationships, activities or situations that bothered us in the past may once and for all stay in the past. We now have the courage or no other choice than to move on by letting go and focusing on what’s important, effective or necessary.

– Increased sense of urgency. There cannot be a stronger reminder of how fragile our existence is than when lives are at risk due to an obnoxious and invisible virus. If we don’t do what matters today, tomorrow is never promised. Take stock of your responsibilities, gifts and dreams, and be a doer and a light in this world.

– Crediting heroes. The heroes during this COVID-19 pandemic are found in the medical field. Nurses, doctors, hospital workers are the soldiers in the trenches protecting us. At any moment in life, there will be people and professions that deserve praise and gratitude for their sacrifices or extra miles. Beware of false heroes and give credit to the true heroes.

While the world as we know it has come to a halt, the RESET must be on for all of us. That’s how we activate the potential that is in us as a community and society as a whole.

The world needs us!

Presenting can be stressful but as much as you would happily avoid making a presentation, it is a necessary stepping stone to increased responsibility and recognition. A meeting where you are being asked to present (e.g. at an offsite or large gathering) may also denote your increased visibility, trustworthiness and reputation in an organization.

Learning about the relationship between anxiety and excitement is a key milestone in developing your presentation skills.

Once you understand how to leave anxiety behind, a new world opens up where you can in fact enjoy or even volunteer to make presentations!

Turning anxiety into excitement prior to making a presentation follows the process below:

–First, remember that our bodies react in the exact same way to both anxiety and excitement. Shaky voice, sweaty palms, heart racing…all those reactions are common for both anxiety and excitement. The difference will be made by how our mind interprets those signs.

– Second, think about how you would feel for a second, if you were able to put those feelings of nervousness aside. Will you continue to be afraid or will you in fact feel excited about the opportunity at hand, to share insights, to present…? By turning the excitement button on, instead of amplifying your fears, you will trick your brain into taking it all in as a positive versus a “fight or flight” experience.

– Third, as you are identifying how excited you are and why, state it out loud or mentally. For instance “I’m excited to share my findings in…” means you are seeing yourself doing it. This is in fact akin to visualization, a technique widely used in sports psychology by world class athletes. Furthermore, in the process of focusing on what you are excited about, it becomes less about you and more about the opportunity and journey ahead, or how you might be of service to someone or something… This diminishes what phycologists refer to as the spotlight effect, a social anxiety that is likely to occur when people overestimate how much other people are paying attention to them – “although one is the center of one’s own world, one is not the center of everyone else’s“.

The journey to great communication and presentation skills may be a long one. Great public speakers are made, not born.

However, once you learn how to turn nervousness into excitement, you are graduating to a new level of public speaking and communication skills. Over time and with practice, you will master this transition in a matter of minutes or seconds. It becomes second nature, a liberating step and fertile ground for future breakthroughs.

I would love to hear from you as you practice the above, applicable by the way to any situation you feel nervous about, like a presentation, call or meeting.

Carpe diem is one of my favorite reminders to be present in the moment.

It is a Latin phrase that goes back to Roman poet Horace. It’s been most often translated as seize the day, and interpreted as seize the moment without concern for the future or in Horace’s words “puting little trust in tomorrow”.

My interpretation of carpe diem is seize the day with a lot of trust in tomorrow. Without setting an intention for what tomorrow and the future may hold, how can we be seizing today with the highest levels of commitment and energy? Or how can we find strength in the midst of what today may throw at us?

How to find your Carpe Diem definition?

– Set a time for a profound visualization experience this week. In “The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People”, Stephen Covey invites us to begin with the end in mind by visualizing our own funerals. It seems counter to talk about seizing the day and funerals. However, stay with me a little longer...Think about what you would want to hear at your funeral in regards to how you lived your life, your character, the contributions and difference you may have made. Tom Rath, human behavior researcher notes that having a meaningful life or work doesn’t necessarily require something grand or grandiose. It’s first about what we do every day and the people in our lives.

– Spend some time thinking about your roles, values and what is important to you. Draft a list with questions that you will want to respond positively at the end of your life. Brendon Burchard, a world class coach, introduced this idea with questions he has been asking himself every day for the last two decades: Did I love? Did I matter? Did I live? My version includes:

–At personal level: Did I love? Did I grow? Did I let fears hold me back?

–At professional level: Did I challenge myself and my team to grow? Did I bring value? Was I a role model?

– Share your questions with someone you love or trust. This discussion is an opportunity to mark a new level of intention and further refine and reflect on your life mission.

– Set a morning reminder on your phone with your end of life questions. Knowing what you are striving for in life will embolden you for the day ahead.

– Every night, think about your day and if you lived in congruence with your end of life questions.

Whether you are 15 years old or 70 years old, it is never too late to set an intention for what’s ahead.

Carpe Diem is an invitation to live intentionally by living daily answers to your end of life questions.

When you do, you have lived more authentically, intentionally, and at peace with yourself, your life and your growth journey…

In Howard Thurman words, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive“.

Carpe Diem!

Regardless of your profession or position, employed or self employed, if you are a high performer, you are more likely to:

(1) be satisfied with your professional development

(2) have been promoted or recognized more often or faster in your environment.

If you aspire to be or are a high performer, the attributes and principles below shape high performance:

• Consistent hard work: There is no shortcut for good or high performance. First things first, and that’s why reliability and consistency in delivering on what you do are foundations to build upon.
• Integrity and work ethics: Those are also fundamental values that if lacking can bring down and destroy reputation and trust. This is as much about upholding moral and ethical values, as is about walking the talk regardless of your audience.
• Do your best and the best will get better over time: I grew up with my mom always pointing out the uselessness of starting something if I was not ready to give it the appropriate amount of attention and effort. In other words, go wholeheartedly about your work. Putting forth the best effort at a particular time doesn’t avoid mistakes, but you will persevere and your next best will be a forward progression.
• Positive attitude and energy: you can work really hard, but if you don’t project or have a positive attitude, your negativity will eventually turn your internal or external customers off. We all have bad days and good days, but strive to show up as a driven and passionate learner and contributor.
• Clarity in goals and execution: Not all projects and activities are equally important. Make sure you are spending enough time and resources on what matters the most. The Pareto principle suggests that 80% of our results come from 20% of our activities. Bernard Burchard, a high performance business coach, sees this as spending 60% of our time each day on needle moving activities. This requires time management skills but also the ability to figure out by ourselves or with help from others, what are key needs or projects that add value.
• Be patient: if you are doing all of the above but are still not being recognized, maybe all you need is some patience. We all know the saying: people don’t quit their jobs, they quit their bosses. Bad bosses may eventually move on, as not a good fit with the organization. Or new opportunities arise. Keep building your expertise and knowledge. Be it within your organization or a new one, high performance is like an iceberg. It will eventually surface, and once it does, you will be a force to be reckoned with. That’s when you will start being noticed and groomed for growth, or when your business will boom.

Regardless of where you are on the spectrum of performance, it’s never too late to start applying principles of high performance.

Give yourself a chance to see how your environment and opportunities change for the better when you put forth the best effort.

I have always been a strong believer in the power of choice, discipline and action.

I am an even stronger one after getting acquainted with Brendon Burchard’s work. If you don’t know Brendon, he is one of the best word-class life and business coaches out there, with a mission to call people to be extraordinary. His best sellers include phenomenal books like High Performance Habits and The Motivation Manifesto.

We can go through the motions or we can respond to the calling to be extraordinary. What makes the difference for people in Brendon’s view and words are the following:

• Vibrancy: When we go through the motions, our energy is off. A power plant doesn’t have energy, it generates it. Be intentional, be the guardian and generator of energy. Don’t wait for someone or something to bring you energy and joy. This is valid not only in our personal lives, but also in our professional environments. Bring the joy and energy via morning and evening practices like meditation, yoga, journaling…whatever resonates with you.
• Connection: Human “being” is not human “doing“. The greatest achievement in life is living life connected with ourselves, the moment, God, the universe, our families and friends, our teams and colleagues…Be it at work or at home, we were made for connection.
• Meaning: It is the sense that our lives matter. The definition of meaning may vary, but the common denominator is the sense that we matter at home, at work, in society…Part of having meaning is having reverence for the blessings in life, for the daily touches both at home and at work…Meaning is something we train ourselves to see. If we don’t see the small wins and blessings, the big ones will seem hollow.

Practicing vibrancy, and finding connection and meaning are the conduit for:

• Owning dreams: When we feel vibrant and energetic, we bravely embrace the yearnings, callings and dreams within us.
• Adopting a role model mindset: Who can we inspire in our spheres of influence at both personal and professional levels? Who needs us to be a better role model?

Choosing to be extraordinary is pursuing a next level that is unique to everyone. Once we set our intention to be the best of who we are, a domino effect is created. It is not a race to compete in because when we respond to the calling to be extraordinary, everybody around us, at home and at work, wins.

TGIF (Thank God it’s Friday) is a common salutation in the United States. In fact, it is so notorious that even a restaurant chain got named after it!

Come Mondays, let’s face it, the mood is different for the majority of us. However, what is likely different among many of us is the “recovery” time from “off work” to “work“. Some seem to be jumping right back where things got left off only two days earlier, while others seem to be slowly or permanently in recovery mode.

If you struggle with Mondays, give the following tips a try to start the week enthusiastically:

• Acknowledge the feelings. If it’s one of those Mondays where you feel like you don’t want to get out of bed, ask yourself why. Is it because you are putting an end to a wonderful weekend with family or friends? Is it because your week was very challenging and the weekend wasn’t enough to rest? All those can be normal feelings. But whatever it is, be intentional about how you spend your weekends so your reservoirs for family time, friendships, fun, rest,..get filled up.
• See the big picture. Your work provides for paying bills, but very likely also provides for an opportunity to contribute to society in an unique way. If you are a construction worker, you might see your role as building homes where new memories will be created. If you are an educator, you are obviously having a critical role in shaping a country’s young generation.
• Think rewards. The word “labor” comes from Latin labor or “toil, exertion, hardship”. You can choose to see work as such, or you can choose to see work as an enabler of what brings satisfaction, leisure and growth for yourself and your family.
• Set up priorities and goals for the week ahead. When you know what needs to get tackled, how complex or long your to-do list for the week is, you will engage faster in an action mode, productivity and urgency having been awaken.
• Schedule action fast. The earlier you force yourself to be productive with an early Monday morning call, meeting or delivery, the easier you will force yourself to transition from weekend to work week. In other words, stop the pity party and start making progress towards your deliverables.
• Get excited. Even if you may not feel like it, there must be something about your week that is remotely or utterly exciting. Even if your Monday morning mood may question the definition of excitement, challenge yourself to identify those moments or activities for the week ahead, that when thinking about them objectively and gratefully, are, after all, exciting. You may see a training or a travel as a taxing activity or you may see it as an opportunity to learn new things and expand your professional network.

Wanting for the weekends to get longer is an absolutely normal feeling no matter our professions, roles and chapters in life. We are not robots to work 24/7 so don’t supress that feeling. Embrace it by coming back on Mondays with a renewed commitment to do it all over again after a productive workweek. If you are giving those tips a try, let me know how it goes or what works for you in the comments below.

As human beings, we are creatures of habits.

Be it good or bad, consciously or unconsciously, we develop routines and habits. Once something is established as a routine, it gives us a sense of comfort and safety; ask any parent about this and you will hear how important the routine is for a child. Amazingly, in the process of life, we oftentimes lose the meaning and essence of habit – we see habits as a manifestation of comfort as opposed to a response to wanting to grow.

Growing (at all levels) is about:

-continously being on the lookout for new habits to develop

-challenging oneself to scrutinize and push beyond comfort levels and fears

-daring to believe and work towards a dream

-being ready to fail while trying.

There is a lot of literature in this area of habit creation but three books I recommend to shape your habit creation habits are:

1. “The 5 second rule” by Mel Robbins. It is based on the theory that within five seconds, our brain will talk us out of pretty much anything we know we should do but we might fast enough think it would be too hard, too late or too early to do it. By counting backwards 5-4-3-2-1, we spring through action and quiet our mind, therefore breaking the habit of hesitating, overthinking or holding ourselves back. For instance, you wake up in the morning and your first thought is to run. But then you feel too tired to do it. With 5-4-3-2-1, you act upon your initial thought without allowing your feelings to change your mind.
2. “The One Thing” by Gary Keller. The myth of multitasking is dispelled to give place to the power of prioritization and clarity by focusing on the one most important thing that will lead to success. By doing the most important thing, one at a time, a domino effect is created to achieve extraordinary results. Instead of trying too much, ask yourself what’s the one thing I can do today to reach my goal, improve a relationship, get fit etc…
3. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R Covey. In this classic book, sold in over 15 million copies, Stephen comes up with a time management matrix of activities based on what’s urgent vs not urgent, important vs not important. For instance, if most of your focus is on urgent and important, you are likely in a perpetual crisis management mode, a sure pathway to stress and burnout. Intentionally scheduling activities that are important but not urgent is a condition for lasting growth and success. The seven habits that Stephen found in common across highly effective people include being proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, feeding a cycle of effectiveness and success.

Every day, we have a choice as to what habit we grow or replace, what we intently take on or ignore, what we complacently accept or challenge to change.

Ultimately, there is power in each habit, a power that could make us grow or keep us captive.

Use the muscle of habit creation to move beyond fears and take one step further in a journey of growth!

As parents, we have our own stories of schedules and responsibilities to juggle. At times, it can feel overwhelming.

As a working parent, there are a few things that I wished I appreciated earlier:

• Guilt: There will always be some amount of guilt when you have to take your child to the doctor’s instead of going into the office, or when family time gets shrunk due to work related pressures. On and off, guilt comes as a ghost to question our choices or remind us of how imperfect we are. Instead of turning those moments into an “see, you can’t do it all”, think of yourself as your best friend and share those words of encouragement that your best friend would have heard from you.
• Stress: If you find yourself stressed, identify what is causing it and whether you can rewrite the script. Is it the work itself or is it about setting some unrealistic expectations?
  • The work-induced stress: A few years back, it felt like I had the world over my shoulders. One morning when I dropped off my child to daycare, a simple “Have a great day” from one of the teachers initiated a whole dialogue in my mind. “If she knew how hard and stressful my work is, she would not say that to me”. Every morning, hearing that simple greeting started eroding the previously held belief that I can’t enjoy my work because it’s so stressful. If you find yourself in this situation, challenge yourself to look at the different aspects of your day with increased appreciation. It could be the joy of learning something new or attending a training that would enhance your skills.
  • The self-induced stress: We are good at to-do lists. However, it is self defeating to assess the success and productivity of a day based solely on achieving all that was initially planned. This is because our to-do list might be twice longer than what can reasonably be accomplished in a single day, or because complexities arise pushing out initial timelines. Continuously setting realistic expectations and allowing for interruptions are key to manage stress.
• Imposter syndrome: We are facing our own fears as we are called to take on expanded profession-related responsibilities. Despite being pulled in all directions, we still need to keep it all together. If that’s how you feel right now, remind yourself that this is a common feeling when you are in fact growing. In other words, you are already rocking it!
• Support system: If you are trying to “do it all”, you might be finding yourself more sleep deprived than others. For every family, the definition of the support system may look differently. What looks like the perfect solution for you and your family could be unfeasible or undesirable for someone else.
• Purpose: It is easy to see how we can’t measure up to perfection. However, if despite sleepless night(s), or any other manifestation of your imperfect “do it all”, you are finding yourself enthusiastically glued to your computer, research paper or anything else, profession-related, that likely means you are walking in your purpose. Find the strength to continue and embrace your purpose and potential, knowing you are meant and equipped for this exact journey.
• Values: The struggle of “doing it all” brings to surface the ways we may seem to be failing at times at home or at work. However, those same ways can be opportunities to share or instill values, teach strengths, and inspire. You are likely teaching your child the value of discipline and hard work, of being afraid but still trying, or you may be an informal or formal mentor for future parents to be. Communicate intentionally such that your story is not one of daily grind, but of impact and inspiration.

For those who tend to carry the burden of the “do it all”, there is immense power and relief in knowing that our story is not an isolated one. On the contrary, it is one shared by many. There will be times when we feel like we have failed short and that is all right and part of the journey.