By Guest Writer: Donna Erickson

Donna Erickson is a retired public educator. She created Fit Memory with a few friends as a way to promote wellness among senior citizens with the hopes it will help inspire others to make the most of their golden years.

Starting a side hustle can feel like sprinting a marathon — exhilarating at first but exhausting if you don’t pace yourself wisely. Whether you’re freelancing after work, launching a passion project, or testing a startup idea, protecting your well-being isn’t optional. It’s the key to lasting progress. Sustainable growth happens when you manage your energy as carefully as your ambition — not by running yourself into the ground.

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The Gist

Success in your side hustle depends on balance. Protect your energy through clear routines, realistic goals, and intentional breaks. Focus on progress, not perfection. Use structure to prevent burnout, and treat rest as part of the work.

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Setting the Scene

The biggest trap for new entrepreneurs is believing “more hours = more success.” In reality, overexertion kills creativity. When fatigue becomes your default state, productivity drops — and joy disappears.

So, the real art isn’t in grinding nonstop; it’s in crafting rhythms that keep both ambition and well-being alive.

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Early-Stage Balance at a Glance

Area	Challenge	Balance Strategy	Tools or Resources
Energy	Late-night exhaustion	Create a “shutdown ritual” before sleep	Headspace, Calm
Focus	Constant multitasking	Use time-blocking for one task at a time	Todoist, Notion
Money	Unclear finances	Separate business & personal budgets early	Mint, YNAB
Learning	Information overload	Follow one learning path per quarter	Skillshare, Coursera
Mental health	Burnout signs	Schedule real downtime like appointments	BetterHelp, Insight Timer

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Self-Care Foundations for Hustlers

✅ Identify your “core hours” — when you do your best work
✅ Take one day per week entirely off digital devices
✅ Keep a gratitude log (it rewires burnout-prone thinking)
✅ Exercise or walk daily, even for 15 minutes
✅ Practice saying “no” to low-impact tasks
✅ Revisit your “why” monthly to stay aligned

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How-To: Create a Sustainable Side-Hustle System

1. Start with the End in Mind — Define what success looks like without overwork.
   
   
2. Design Your Week, Don’t Drift Into It — Use a template Sunday evening to allocate time for work, rest, and creation.
   
   
3. Batch Energy-Intensive Tasks — Protect mornings for deep work and use low-energy hours for admin.
   
   
4. Automate the Mundane — Use simple automations (like calendar scheduling or expense tracking) to reclaim mental bandwidth.
   
   
5. Reflect Weekly — Ask: Did I honor my energy this week? If not, adjust, don’t guilt-spiral.

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Getting Support Without Losing Focus

Sometimes, the best self-care is not doing everything alone. Delegating, automating, or partnering can protect your energy and help you grow faster.

If your side hustle starts taking off, consider using a comprehensive support platform like ZenBusiness. It helps entrepreneurs run and scale efficiently — from forming an LLC to managing compliance, websites, and finances — so you can stay focused on your craft instead of admin overwhelm.

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FAQ

Q: How do I balance a full-time job and a side hustle without burning out?
A: Cap your hustle hours and protect rest days like meetings. Burnout starts where boundaries end.

Q: What if I feel guilty taking breaks?
A: Reframe rest as productivity insurance — not indulgence. Without recovery, quality work isn’t possible.

Q: How do I stay motivated when progress feels slow?
A: Track micro-wins weekly. Momentum builds from visible evidence, not abstract goals.

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Product Spotlight — Focusmate

If procrastination is your nemesis, try Focusmate. It pairs you with a real person online for body-double work sessions. Many side hustlers use it to stay accountable and beat isolation during long evenings of solo work.

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Glossary

Core hours — The time of day when you’re naturally most focused and creative.
Burnout — Emotional and physical exhaustion from chronic stress or overwork.
Time-blocking — Scheduling specific blocks for single tasks to reduce context-switching.
Side hustle — Any project generating income outside a primary job.
Self-care — Practices that protect your mental, emotional, and physical health.

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Your side hustle is a marathon with scenic detours, not a sprint to exhaustion. Protect your energy early — routines, boundaries, and the right tools will carry you farther than pure willpower ever could. Sustainable success comes from balance, not burnout. Treat rest as a strategy, not a reward, and you’ll build momentum that lasts beyond the hustle.

By Guest Writer: Donna Erickson

Donna Erickson is a retired public educator. She created Fit Memory with a few friends as a way to promote wellness among senior citizens with the hopes it will help inspire others to make the most of their golden years.

In our bustling lives, maintaining fitness and wellness often slides to the back burner, overshadowed by daily demands. Yet, integrating simple, effective habits into your routine can dramatically enhance your well-being without overwhelming your schedule. This guide from Growth Is A Journey walks you through practical steps to sustain your fitness and wellness journey, ensuring each change is both manageable and impactful.

Set Realistic Goals

Embarking on your wellness journey begins with setting achievable goals. By aiming for attainable milestones, you fuel your motivation and make progress without the discouragement that often accompanies loftier ambitions. For instance, if you aspire to run a marathon, start by running shorter distances and gradually increase your endurance. This method ensures you celebrate small victories, keeping your spirits high and your goals within reach.

Advancing Your Career

Pursuing a computer science degree online not only sharpens your skills in IT, programming, and computer science theory but also meshes seamlessly with your personal health routines. You can enhance your career without sacrificing your fitness goals, learning on your own schedule from anywhere. As your expertise in technology expands, so too will your ability to maintain a healthy balance between professional achievements and personal well-being.

Create a Fitness Routine

Consistency is key in any endeavor, and fitness is no exception. Establish a daily or weekly routine that includes specific times for exercise and wellness activities. This might mean setting your alarm 30 minutes earlier for a morning jog or dedicating your lunch break to a brisk walk. A structured schedule not only helps in adhering to your fitness plan but also in making these activities a natural part of your day, thereby reducing the temptation to skip them.

Embrace a Balanced Diet

Nourishing your body with the right foods significantly impacts your overall health and energy levels. Incorporate a variety of nutrients into your diet, focusing on whole foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Avoid the lure of fast food by preparing meals in advance, ensuring you have healthy options readily available to support your fitness goals.

Walk More

Boost your physical activity effortlessly by making walking a staple in your daily life; take the stairs, park further from entrances, and choose to walk rather than drive whenever feasible. These manageable adjustments can lead to a noticeable increase in your daily steps, enhancing your cardiovascular health and simultaneously reducing your environmental impact. Embracing these simple changes will not only elevate your fitness level but also contribute positively to both your personal health and the planet.

Stay Hydrated

Drinking adequate water is crucial for maintaining optimal body function. Hydration aids in digestion, keeps your skin healthy, and can even boost your energy levels and cognition. Make it a habit to carry a water bottle with you throughout the day, and sip regularly. If you find plain water unappealing, try adding slices of fruits like lemon or cucumber for a refreshing twist.

Morning Stretch

Initiate your morning with a few minutes of stretching to enhance your flexibility and ease muscle tension, effectively invigorating your body for the day’s tasks. This simple routine not only primes you physically but also aligns your mental state, setting a tone of positivity and readiness. By dedicating time to stretch each morning, you cultivate both a resilient body and a focused mind, gearing up for whatever lies ahead.

Limit Screen Time

In today’s digital age, we often find ourselves glued to screens for both work and leisure, which can detract from physical activity. By setting limits on screen time, you encourage more movement and interaction with the world around you. Instead of scrolling through social media during your breaks, take a walk, meditate, or engage in a hobby that gets you moving.

Maintaining fitness and wellness is a journey that centers around consistency and adaptability. By integrating straightforward strategies into daily routines, individuals can cultivate habits that promote long-term health and vitality. It’s about making choices each day that contribute to physical well-being and mental clarity, setting the foundation for a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle. By committing to these practices, anyone can enhance their quality of life and embrace a healthier future.

By Guest Writer: Donna Erickson

Donna Erickson is a retired public educator. She created Fit Memory with a few friends as a way to promote wellness among senior citizens with the hopes it will help inspire others to make the most of their golden years.

Entering your midlife years is a significant milestone, marking a period of reflection and potential transformation. This pivotal stage offers a unique opportunity for you to reassess your life’s path and make meaningful changes. Embracing this journey with the right mindset and tools can lead to a renewed sense of purpose and well-being.

Cultivating Wellness in Mind and Body

In your midlife, taking care of your physical health is crucial. Engage in regular exercise, which improves your physical fitness and boosts mental health.

Balance this with a nutritious diet, rich in fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins, to fuel your body and mind effectively. Equally important is ensuring you get enough rest; quality sleep rejuvenates your body, enhances mood, and sharpens your mind, laying a foundation for a healthier, more vibrant you.

Addressing Substance Use Challenges

When facing substance use issues, it’s vital to understand the process of seeking recovery help. Professional support, such as rehabilitation programs and counseling, is crucial in offering guidance and strategies to overcome dependency.  Opting for the best rehab centers in the US is a testament to your commitment to a healthier, substance-free life.

This decision not only aids in recovery but also marks your strength in reclaiming control over your well-being. It’s no secret that rehab can harm a budget, but many facilities offer payment plans, and some even accept health insurance. Take time to research the accommodations, prices, and patient reviews of various rehab centers. Actively seeking help is your essential first step toward a successful journey to recovery.

Exploring the Roots of Unhappiness

This phase in life is a prime time for introspection. Delve deep into understanding the root causes of any dissatisfaction you may feel. This process involves honest self-assessment, possibly with the assistance of therapy or journaling. By identifying and confronting these underlying issues, you create an opportunity for profound personal growth and the chance to align your life more closely with your true desires and values.

Injecting Adventure into Your Life

Midlife is the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone and embrace new adventures. Whether it’s traveling to a destination you’ve always dreamt of, learning a new skill, or pursuing a long-neglected hobby, these experiences invigorate your spirit and bring a fresh perspective to life. Such adventures can reignite your passion for life, introducing you to new people, cultures, and ideas.

Redefining Style for Confidence

Consider giving your wardrobe a makeover to reflect the person you are today. Updating your style can be a powerful way to boost your confidence and self-image. This doesn’t necessarily mean a complete overhaul; even small changes, like incorporating more color or trying new styles, can have a significant impact. Dressing in a way that makes you feel good can change how you see yourself and others perceive you.

Fostering Laughter and Positivity

Incorporate more humor and positivity into your life. Laughter is not just a temporary escape; it’s a powerful tool for coping with stress and improving overall well-being. Seek out sources of humor, be it through movies, books, or time with friends who make you laugh. Adopting a more positive outlook can help you navigate midlife challenges gracefully and resiliently.

Enriching the Mind Through Literature

Dedicate time to read about the midlife transition. A wealth of literature is available, ranging from expert advice to personal narratives, which can provide valuable insights and coping strategies. This knowledge can offer comfort and guidance, helping you to understand that your experiences are not unique and that this phase can be a time of positive transformation.

Wrapping Up

Embrace your midlife years as an exciting chapter, positioning yourself to navigate this transition with confidence, optimism, and a renewed sense of purpose. This stage in your life is abundant with opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and rejuvenation.

It’s a time to reshape your future into one filled with endless possibilities and fulfillment. See this period not as an ordeal but as a momentous phase to embrace and enjoy actively. Your journey now can lead to profound personal transformation and a richer life experience.

By Guest Writer: Donna Erickson

Donna Erickson is a retired public educator. She created Fit Memory with a few friends as a way to promote wellness among senior citizens with the hopes it will help inspire others to make the most of their golden years.

Feeling stuck and lost in the middle of our lives is not an uncommon experience. The mid-life crisis affects anyone, regardless of age, gender, or profession. However, this phase can also mark the start of a transformational journey of reinventing ourselves. Here are some actionable tips on finding inspiration and positivity in a mid-life crisis, presented to you below courtesy of Growth Is A Journey.

Get in shape

Physical health plays a crucial role in our mental and emotional well-being. By working with a fitness and nutrition consultant, you can take the steps necessary to improve your overall health and fitness. A healthy diet and regular exercise are proven ways to improve mental clarity, boost energy levels, and reduce stress. Together with a consultant, you can create a plan to meet your fitness goals, track your progress, and stay motivated. This can be the first step in a positive and healthy direction.

Travel

Traveling can provide a renewed sense of wonder and excitement. Exposing yourself to different cultures and environments can open your mind to new perspectives. Traveling is a chance to escape our daily routines and immerse ourselves in new experiences. It can be a great opportunity to re-evaluate and reinvent ourselves in a new place. Whether it’s a nearby city, another country, or a remote village, traveling is an opportunity to broaden our horizons and recharge our batteries.

Volunteer

Volunteering is a powerful way to connect with people and give back to the community. It’s a chance to make a difference in the lives of others and feel good about oneself. Volunteering offers us the opportunity to interact with people from different backgrounds and experiences. This can help us develop empathy and compassion, which can be instrumental in our journey of self-discovery.

Set limits between job and personal life

One of the significant sources of stress in our modern lives is the lack of work-life balance. The constant pressure to perform and compete can take a toll on our mental and physical health. Setting clear boundaries between work and personal life can be a game-changer. This means committing to a set of work hours and then disconnecting from work when the day is done. This can involve turning off notifications, setting a “no emails after hours” rule, or not working on weekends. By taking care of our personal lives, we can improve our overall sense of well-being.

Take classes to pursue a passion

In the pursuit of your dream career, now is an opportune moment to take decisive steps forward. For those aiming to delve into the dynamic field of data science, for example, earning an advanced degree can be a pivotal move. With an online master’s in data science, you can balance advancing your education with maintaining a full-time job or managing family responsibilities, thanks to the flexibility and accessibility of online programs. It’s essential, however, to choose an accredited online school that not only provides a quality education but also offers competitive tuition rates. By taking this strategic step, you’re positioning yourself to thrive in the ever-evolving and in-demand realm of data science, turning your career aspirations into achievable realities.

Take time away from technology

In today’s digital world, we’re bombarded with content and notifications 24/7. Constant exposure to technology can be overwhelming and lead to burnout. Taking some time away from technology can help us disconnect from distractions and connect with ourselves. This can involve taking a digital detox weekend, turning off notifications for a few hours, or committing to a daily meditation practice. Rediscovering the value of unplugging can be a game-changer in fostering mindfulness and self-awareness.

A mid-life crisis can be the start of a transformative journey toward self-discovery and empowerment. By taking care of our physical, following our passions, and disconnecting from technology, among others, we can navigate this phase with positivity and inspiration. Remember that finding inspiration and positivity is a process, not an event, but by taking concrete steps, we can make the journey a fulfilling one.

Image via Freepik

By Guest Writer: Donna Erickson

Donna Erickson is a retired public educator. She created Fit Memory with a few friends as a way to promote wellness among senior citizens with the hopes it will help inspire others to make the most of their golden years.

In today’s dynamic environment, stress has become an increasingly pervasive challenge, impacting individuals from all walks of life. Recognizing and managing stress is essential for maintaining a healthy balance between personal and professional responsibilities. This article, courtesy of Growth Is A Journey, guides you through understanding the root causes of stress and equips you with strategies to navigate through it effectively.

Uncover the Root Causes of Stress

Stress often emerges from various aspects of life, including work pressures, personal relationships, and financial concerns. Identifying these triggers is the first step toward developing a strategy to manage stress effectively. Understanding that stress can stem from both external circumstances and internal thought processes is crucial in addressing it comprehensively.

Navigate Work-Related Stress

High workloads and challenging environments often lead to significant stress in the realm of work. If you’re currently in a job that feels either overly stressful or no longer presents a challenge, considering a career change can be a key step in enhancing your mental health.

In such situations, you might explore the benefits of pursuing an EdD degree. Online degree programs offer the flexibility to continue working full-time or managing family obligations while studying.

Earning an EdD opens you up to opportunities in areas like curriculum development, policy evaluation, and instructional methods assessment, thereby impacting and improving educational outcomes. This path not only fosters professional growth but also contributes to personal well-being.

Achieve Work-Life Harmony

Striking a balance between professional responsibilities and personal life is paramount for stress management. Establishing firm boundaries and allocating time for personal interests and family can significantly alleviate stress caused by work-life imbalance. Prioritizing personal well-being alongside professional duties is key to maintaining overall mental health.

Tackle Financial Worries

Navigating through financial concerns, particularly those related to debt and credit, is often a key factor in managing stress. Taking proactive steps to improve your credit score is crucial, as it significantly influences your ability to secure loans under favorable terms.

Lenders use credit scores to evaluate the likelihood of repayment, with scores above 740 typically considered excellent. Such scores can lead to better interest rates and loan terms, which can relieve financial stress. Effective financial planning and adept budget management are integral in maintaining a healthy credit score and reducing monetary-related stress.

Optimize Your Diet

Diet plays a critical role in how we cope with stress. Nutritional choices directly affect mood and energy levels, making a well-balanced diet an important factor in building resilience to stress. Incorporating a variety of nutrients into your meals can help maintain stable energy levels and improve overall mental health.

Embrace Mindfulness and Relaxation

Incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing into your daily routines can significantly reduce stress levels. These techniques foster a sense of calm and help in managing stress more effectively. Regular practice can lead to long-term benefits in both mental and physical health.

Cultivate a Positive Outlook

A positive mindset can act as a buffer against stress. Practicing gratitude and setting realistic goals can help you maintain an optimistic attitude, even in challenging situations. This approach not only reduces stress but also enhances overall life satisfaction.

Prioritize Restful Sleep

The importance of sleep in managing stress cannot be overstated. Inadequate or poor-quality sleep can significantly intensify stress levels, impairing one’s ability to effectively handle daily challenges.

It’s essential to prioritize seven to nine hours of restful sleep each night, as this is beneficial for physical health and mental well-being. Incorporating a calming bedtime routine and creating a sleep-conducive environment can further enhance your sleep, contributing to better stress management.

Conclusion

While stress is an inevitable part of life, understanding its sources and implementing effective management strategies is key to maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life. You can navigate through life’s challenges with resilience and poise by addressing both the external and internal factors contributing to stress. And remember to seek professional support when necessary.

_{Photo via Pexels}

By Guest Writer: Donna Erickson

Donna Erickson is a retired public educator. She created Fit Memory with a few friends as a way to promote wellness among senior citizens with the hopes it will help inspire others to make the most of their golden years.

Life is full of changes and transitions, both abrupt and gradual. Learning to roll with these changes and adapt is key to thriving in this complicated world. With the right mindset, habits, and resources, it’s more than possible to navigate major life changes and come out stronger on the other side. Whether it’s moving to a new home, starting a business, dealing with the death of a loved one, or overcoming an  addiction, each challenge comes with its own set of unique challenges and opportunities. Keep reading to learn coping strategies you can use as you face change in your own life, courtesy of Growth Is A Journey.

Navigating Life in Addiction Recovery

Life in addiction recovery can feel foreign and new. While this can be refreshing, the change often comes as a shock to those emerging from addiction. Facing a sex addiction for example can be incredibly challenging and involves making some major changes to your lifestyle and regular habits. Embracing recovery is a significant transition. Look for online resources that can offer support and guidance as you enter this new chapter of your life.

Making the Transition to Business Owner

Becoming a business owner is another major life transition that can be challenging to adopt. Make sure you’re ready for this leap before jumping in. Blogher.com explains that you have to be ready to supervise yourself, as you won’t have anyone to answer to. While this can be freeing, it also requires self-discipline.

Starting a business also involves taking on risks. While risk is inevitable, you can take steps to reduce your level of personal risk. For example, forming an LLC is a great way to protect your personal assets and decrease the financial risk involved in launching a business. If you’d rather not hire a lawyer, you can form your LLC on your own with the help of online formation services. Just be sure to review your state’s specific LLC rules before taking on this task.

Refresh Your Environment

When life feels topsy-turvy, a change of scenery can help clear your head and make room for a fresh start. Consider downsizing to simplify your life. This will help you refocus on the things that matter most to you! Downsizing means less cleaning and maintenance, as well as fewer financial obligations. And with just a little effort, you can find a home that still contains highly sought-after features that will allow it to retain its value down the road, such as a laundry area and a backyard.

Prioritize Your Mental Health

Caring for your mental health during major life transitions is not about self-coddling but about building resilience. Aim to develop coping strategies that help you weather stress rather than escape from it. For example, ScienceFocus.com explains that gardening is linked to improvements in well-being and perceived stress. Getting outside and digging in the garden is great for restoring your ability to focus and calming the mind. Consult online gardening resources like HomeGardenHero for product recommendations and plant care tips.

Learning to accept change is another valuable way to support your mental health as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Most of us are naturally resistant to change. However, accepting change is far easier than fighting it. Consider new opportunities that might arise with the transition you’re facing. Visualize what your new future might look like and open your mind to possibilities you might not have considered before this change.

While navigating major life transitions can be challenging, the right mindset will help you overcome anything. Remember to prioritize your mental health and find ways to cope with stress, like picking up a gardening hobby. Whether you’re dealing with the transition into recovery from an addiction, starting a business, or moving somewhere new, look for online resources that will offer support as you embrace change.

Growth Is A Journey believes that we’re all on a journey so we might as well enjoy it!

By Guest Writer: Dr. James K. Dittmar

Dr. James K. Dittmar is the founder, President, and CEO of 3Rivers Leadership Institute.  Utilizing the insights gained for over the past 30 years as a leader, teacher and trainer of working professionals, Dr. Dittmar creates learning experiences that are exceptional in content and that are interactive and engaging in process. Dr. Dittmar is also the co-author of a recently published book called A Leadership Carol: A Classic Tale for Modern Leader in which a LEADERS Model for servant leadership is explained — L for Leadership; E for Ethics; A for Alignment; D for Decision-Making; E for Engagement; R for Resilience; and S for Stewardship. 

The last several years have been times of unprecedented challenges for all of us. Before the COVID-19 pandemic, we could not have imagined how our lives would change, how our work lives would be impacted and the toll it would exact on so many families.

It’s not surprising, then, that hope is often in short supply these days. Recent research supports this observation. In one study, at least 50% of participants had feelings of hopelessness within the past month. That’s not a good statistic, particularly at a time when being hopeful is a necessity for coping with the present and future.

More so for leaders, exhibiting hope and creating hopeful organizations is a key responsibility as they navigate the uncertain waters of today’s business environment. Let me share some thoughts with you about the nature of hope and why it can be so beneficial for both individuals and organizations.

Hope is the belief that you can imagine your future and actually achieve it. It’s not some sort of idealistic, wishful thinking in which you sit back and wait to see what happens. Hope is active. It means taking responsibility for what you wish to achieve and planning the way to get there. Hope is a state of being and therefore can be developed in each of us.

Hope is very goal-oriented. Being hopeful means you set specific goals for your future. You are motivated and energized about your future. However, you don’t stop there. You also believe you have the wherewithal to make your future a reality. That’s not passive, wishful thinking. Hope is an active process. It takes both the “will” and the “way” to be hopeful.

You know the adage about seeing the glass as “half full.” The hopeful person sees that glass as half full and then figures out how to make it full.

Leaders must exude hope, not only for themselves but also for those with whom they work. Organizations in which leaders are hopeful and create hopeful work environments enjoy such benefits as higher employee retention, greater levels of satisfaction and engagement, and increased profitability.

Hopeful leaders, much like servant leaders, help remove the obstacles that get in the way of employees achieving their work goals. Such leaders find ways of intrinsically motivating them to achieve their goals through praise, by providing opportunities for growth and professional development, and by involving employees in decision-making processes.

Hopeful leaders continuously encourage employees by reminding them how their work contributes to achieving the organization’s vision and mission. Thus, they generate hope in their co-workers, believing that the future of the organization is attainable and that their work has meaning and purpose.

As I stated earlier, hope can be developed. That development, though, just like hope itself, is not passive. It just doesn’t “happen.” It includes practice, practice and more practice. You have to work on being hopeful. We all have struggled at times with being hopeful.  Significant life and organizational challenges can easily derail our desire to remain hopeful during such difficult times.

In response, we need to see these challenges as events. Events that won’t last forever, events that can be overcome, and events that don’t have to permanently alter our future. Sometimes, that’s not easy to do when we are in the midst of those situations.

In addition, there are many great resources available online that can help us become hopeful. Check them out, and see whether they can be useful to you.

We all need to be hopeful — now more than ever.

https://jimdittmar.com/

Article originally published here.

(Article reposted with Dr. James K. Dittmar’s permission)

By Guest Writer: Amira Alvarez

Amira is the Founder and CEO of The Unstoppable Woman, a global coaching company focused on helping entrepreneurs, athletes, creatives, and rising stars in all fields achieve their dreams and goals.

Original article published on Amira’s website here.

Bonus materials: The Unstoppable Woman podcast; a free Morning Mindset Club class based on Napoleon Hill’s Grow and Think Rich book.

I know how ambitious you are, so I’m guessing you’ve already written out your New Year’s resolutions and goals. 😉 Or maybe you’re like me, and you set them a month and a half ago… (don’t judge, I get excited!)

It’s incredible to know exactly what you’re going for! It’s such an exhilarating feeling, and it’s a massive step in the right direction.

I speak with many women who know what they want, too – and a lot of them even know just what they need to do to get there.

But I’ve found a common challenge among most women who are still struggling to increase their income and scale their business. Even though they know what to do, they keep themselves from doing it.

Not intentionally or consciously, of course. But it still happens.

Often, change doesn’t feel so easy. You might set out to adopt a new habit or get rid of a limiting one… only to find that it’s so much more challenging than you initially thought it’d be.

But I want to let you in on a little secret.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Whatever issue you’re dealing with right now, it’s not that complicated to figure out. It only feels that way!

So why does it feel so hard??

It’s a self-image issue.

Maybe you don’t see yourself as good enough or capable enough. Maybe you don’t see yourself as a person who attracts (or deserves!) solid support and team. Maybe you don’t see yourself as a woman who asks for what she wants – and gets it. Maybe you don’t see yourself for whom making money is EASY!

This is pivotal. Your self-image determines everything that happens to you.

It affects your performance, behavior, confidence, mental health… the list goes on. So naturally, it’s going to come into play when you’re setting new goals and initiatives.

But what could become possible for you now – if you could solve this problem RIGHT NOW?

And more importantly… What will happen if you DON’T solve this problem? What do you stand to lose?

(Article reposted with Amira Alvarez’s permission)

By Guest Writer: Marlene Chism

Marlene Chism is a consultant, international speaker and the author of 4 books: “Stop Workplace Drama” , “No-Drama Leadership“, 7 Ways to Stop Drama in Your Healthcare Practice, and soon (to be published in 2022) Conflict To Courage: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading. Marlene is an expert on the LinkedIn Learning platform offering courses in Anger Management; Difficult Conversations; Difficult Conversations for Managers, and Working with High Conflict People as a Manager. Marlene has a degree in Communications from Drury University and a master’s degree in Human Resources Development from Webster University. Connect with Marlene Chism via LinkedIn or at MarleneChism.com.

Original article published on Marlene’s website here and via Smart Brief.

No matter the technical or academic skills a leader possesses, there is an often-overlooked skill that’s essential: Conflict capacity.

Conflict capacity is the ability to tolerate conflict without getting triggered into unconscious reactions. A leader with low conflict capacity lacks the self-awareness to know when they have hit their emotional and mental limits, and as a result, mismanage conflict and make poor decisions. Many leaders I’ve worked with didn’t recognize the first signs of conflict and didn’t know when they were in too deep. As a result, they made significant mistakes that, while unintentional, caused a lot of lost time, lost productivity, and legal expenses for the organization.

Just like expanding your physical health through aerobic capacity, strength or stamina, building conflict capacity requires conditioning, discipline, and deliberate practice. You need to be able to withstand the storm instead of resorting to the coping mechanisms of avoiding, appeasing or aggression.

Here are four ways to start building more conflict capacity.

1. Reframe conflict

The first way we mismanage conflict is by the way we define conflict. Various dictionary definitions include a state of open fighting; a state of disagreement or disharmony between persons or ideas; a mental struggle; and a battle or war. No wonder most of us have such an aversion to conflict.

When you define conflict differently, you think about it differently. My working definition of conflict is “misalignment due to opposing drives, desires and demands.” This definition takes personality out of the equation, eliminates your assumptions about motive, and makes conflict much more interesting.

The visual I often use is two arrows going in opposite directions. For example, if two business-unit managers argue over budget, it’s not because they are bad people; it’s because they have not yet found ways to align their opposing desires, drives, and demands. Their arrows go in opposite directions until they have a conversation to increase understanding and decision-making.

2. Get curious

Every time you get defensive, remind yourself that defensiveness is a sign you need more information. It’s time to use curiosity as a tool for conflict management by asking good questions, like, “Walk me through your thinking,” or “I’m curious, how did you come to that decision?” Then you wait for the answer; you don’t wait to attack.

When you are genuinely curious, you ask good questions to try to get inside the head of the other person. You don’t assume you already know what they are going to say; after all, they haven’t said it yet. When you’re curious you don’t interrupt and demand to be heard, you use radical listening in order to make aligned decisions.

3. Expand your comfort zone

It’s difficult to change patterns, especially when working with high-conflict individuals. Sometimes you have to hold your tongue on the roof of your mouth to stop interrupting. You have to consciously slow down your pace in order to build tolerance. When every bone in your body wants to debate or prove a point, you build capacity by consciously deciding to pause and compose yourself.

One of my clients recently told me he waited to respond to a belligerent email. In the past, he would have lashed out immediately. I told him, “If a hammer is the only tool you have, it makes sense to try a few other tools to expand your capabilities. Sometimes you need some WD 40, and sometimes you need a wrench. You can always grab the hammer as plan B, but it doesn’t always need to be plan A.”

When it comes to building conflict capacity, comfort is not a requirement. Building conflict capacity means giving up what has made you comfortable up to this point. The biggest barrier to building conflict capacity (outside of cultural influences) is the commitment to comfort.

4. Seek mentoring

Why is it that we seldom ask for help when we are in over our heads? An easier way is to set yourself up for success before the drama ensues. If you’re a front-line leader, seek mentoring. Ask your boss to speak with you on a scheduled basis to discuss your decision-making. Be humble and make the case that you are looking out for the good of the organization. This is easy if you admire your boss, and more difficult if you don’t.

The very fact that you asked will elevate your boss’s awareness and will help you form a better relationship and understand things from their viewpoint. If your boss is growth-oriented,  they will be happy you asked. This keeps the door open when you start to have problems. The good news is that you will never blindside your boss if they know what you’re up to.

Conclusion

Advancing leaders without building conflict capacity leads to organizational problems. Although no leader enjoys conflict, competent leaders understand that conflict is not the problem: Mismanagement is. Every conflict avoided is a conflict mismanaged. The top skill for today’s leader is building conflict capacity.

Bonus resource: Building Conflict Capacity Youtube

(Article reposted with Marlene Chism’s permission)

By Guest Writer: Art Petty

Art Petty helps executives and firms develop the emerging leaders critical for their future in this era of change and uncertainty. His clients include executives and teams in electronics, retailing, manufacturing, government, not-for-profit, and finance. Art has written multiple books, including Leadership Caffeine—Ideas to Energize Your Professional Development, Practical Lessons in Leadership—A Guidebook for Aspiring and Experienced Leaders, and Leadership Caffeine for Project Managers. Additionally, Art has served as the Leadership and Management Expert for The Balance (formerly About.com), and he has published over 1,300 (and counting) articles on his widely covered Management Excellence blog. Art teaches management courses at the graduate and undergraduate levels at DePaul University.

Original article published here.

Developing as a leader doesn’t follow a straight line. It’s different for every individual. Focus on getting better at this job daily.

Here are five ideas to help you jump-start this good work.

1. Get In the Game

Time, place, and circumstances play a big part in everyone’s development. Insert yourself into the fray and become part of the solution to the problems holding people and teams back.

Look for communication or process issues. I call these gray-zone problems. Everyone sees them, but no one knows who owns fixing them. Be that person. Learn to lead in the gray zones.

2. Study the Leaders In Your Environment

The style and character of the leaders around you are critical factors in your growth. We learn a great deal by observing other leaders in action.

Learn from the great leaders. Study them. Look at what works and experiment with their approaches and make them yours.

Learn from the lousy leaders. Study them. Look at what doesn’t work and commit to never doing it that way.

3. Accept that You Have to Experiment to Grow as a Leader

While you don’t want your team members to feel like lab rats, you must experiment with your approaches and tactics to see what works for people and your situation.

There are nearly infinite variations of how you engage, communicate with, coach, support, and develop your team members.

Experiment until you get it right.

If no one is walking through your open door, shift your communication approach. Flex your communication approach to their needs.

If individuals look like they want to march on you carrying torches for that Monday 8:00 a.m. team meeting, change the time and day.

If you haven’t asked them how you are doing, start now. You might have to ask them 47 times before you gain meaningful input, but if you’re working hard on growing trust and treating people with respect, they’ll eventually relax and share nuggets.

4. Let Them Help you Define the Experiments.

I learned over time to experiment with roles and structure.

I gave people a voice, and we worked together until we got the sides of the Rubik’s cube to line up.

Never stop experimenting. If you do, what worked yesterday or even today is bound to kick you in the teeth tomorrow.

5. Learn and Live the Universal Formula for Leadership Success

It turns out, getting good at this job of leading isn’t all that complicated. There’s a formula.

Make sure everyone feels respected.

Respect begets trust.

Trust is the basis for performance.

The formula is simple, just not simplistic:

Respect + Trust = Performance

Live this daily!

The Bottom-Line for Now:

I checked, and your job description doesn’t put you in charge of making people better. It’s all about you working on yourself to get better. Put most of your getting better energy into working on you, not them. They’ll view it as a sign of respect. It’s up to you to complete the formula.

By Guest Writer: Jennifer V. Miller

Jennifer V. Miller researches and writes about the evolving role of leadership in the workplace. Read more articles at her award-winning blog The People Equation and sign up for her newsletter to receive bonus subscriber-only content and the latest tips to become an inspiring, effective leader.

Are you on the “home team” at work? Otherwise known as the “traditional majority culture,”  author Laura Kriska uses the “home team advantage” analogy for the invisible edge people on the “home team” possess. Because the rules for belonging are unwritten (and nobody’s wearing a uniform), people on the team are unaware of the ways in which they’re excluding others. Want to foster a true culture of diversity? To be an inclusive leader, it’s up to you to expand the home team roster. 

Kriska, a cross-cultural consultant and author of The Business of We: The Proven Three-Step Process for Closing the Gap Between Us and Them in Your Workplace defines the home team as the “homogeneous group in power . . .[their] norms of communication and behavior become the standard by which all people in the organization are measured.” Kriska writes that this dynamic, if not addressed, can create an “Us versus Them” vibe in the workplace, with unintentional in-groups and out-groups. “Until those on the home team engage in self-reflections and understand their role in any specific ‘Us versus Them’ gaps,” she writes, “diversity will be viewed as a problem to be solved rather than a strength to be leveraged toward successful outcomes.”

Kriska, who was born in Tokyo and raised in the American Midwest, offers important “big picture” observations about creating an inclusive culture in her book. For an excerpt, read this piece from the CEO Porchlight blog on building internal infrastructure to end Us versus Them thinking. Important as the systemic changes are for a truly inclusive workplace, I wanted to know about the daily “people equation” elements of inclusion. So I reached out to Laura Kriska to learn more.

In an email interview with Kriska, I asked about leaders’ role in making people feel they’re part of the home team. She told me that, post-pandemic, as white collar employees return to in-person work after many months of working from home, leaders have a rare opportunity to establish new norms of inclusion. “Some of these colleagues have never met in person,” she noted. “It is mission critical that leaders take action on modeling inclusive behavior by first measuring their own level of interaction with relevant ‘them’ cultural groups. A cultural group can be as big as an entire country or as small as a single person,” Kriska explained. When viewed through the lens of one person potentially being their own “cultural group,” leaders have enormous opportunities to create inclusiveness and belonging. 

And that’s what I appreciated about Kriska’s book. It tackles the systemic issues that often lead to “othering” in the workplace. And, she also offers practical advice for one-to-one or one-to-group settings that leaders often find themselves in. For example, many of the suggestions she offers in her book are simple “tweaks” of language and actions. 

A few snippets for your consideration:

• Pay attention to the way people joke with one another; are certain “innocuous” statements like “You kids can’t even eat lunch without taking a picture of it” tossed about?
• When team members talk in a group; is everyone included in the conversation? Or does one topic (sports, parenting, socializing outside of work) tend to dominate?
• Help people build bridges around multiple “identities” – such as occupations, life experiences and skills rather than age and race
• If you are part of the “home team”, reach out to people who are part of different “teams” to ask—how may I do a better job of including a variety of voices?

As Kriska writes in The Business of We, “building bridges across cultural differences in the workplace requires emotional bravery from leaders—the kind that can seem scary and overwhelming to otherwise confident and skillful people.” Yet, it can be done. The first step is simply paying attention. And then having the courage to speak up for those who have not yet been actively recruited (metaphorically speaking) onto the home team. When you add to your roster in this way, you’ll be seen as an inclusive leader. And that’s a home team advantage worthy of the effort.

(Reprinted with permission)

By Guest Writer Arnold Sanow

Arnold Sanow, MBA, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional), is a speaker, trainer, coach, and facilitator. He is the author of 7 books to include, “Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere” and “Present with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz.” He was recently named by successful meetings magazine as one of the top 5 best “bang for the buck” speakers in the USA.  www.arnoldsanow.com  

In working with leaders and teams to help them get along better with colleagues, customers and team members, one of the major factors that will either enhance or derail relationships and produce a more positive, productive and profitable culture is emotional intelligence.

What is emotional intelligence? It is the ability to work well with others, know oneself and be aware of their emotions and sensitive to the feeling and emotions of others. Emotionally intelligent people are able to motivate themselves and their teams without using fear or intimidation and to be empathetic.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman states there are 5 elements that make up Emotional Intelligence:

• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Motivation
• Empathy
• Social skills

To see if you are emotionally intelligent here are 15 questions that can help you determine your Emotional Intelligence IQ. Be honest and work on the ones you did not answer positively.

• Are you aware of your feelings and why you feel that way?
• Do you know your strengths as well as your weaknesses and blind spots?
• Do you know when your behaviors or actions affect others?
• Are you able to manage your distressing emotions well and bounce back quickly from stressful situations?
• Do you adapt well to change?
• Are you able to manage your emotions, stay calm and not go into “road rage” when you feel anxious or upset?
• Are you able to listen without making judgements and assumptions?
• Are you aware of the feelings, perspectives and “hidden meanings” of those around you?
• Can you admit to others that you made a mistake?
• Are you willing to compromise and be open to win-win agreements?
• Are you focused and in the present when talking with others?
• Are you open to honest feedback and constructive criticism about your work without getting defensive or making excuses?
• Are you good at building rapport, relationships and connections with others?
• Do you take responsibility for your actions without blaming others?
• Are you empathetic?

Based on the results from our training and coaching programs here are some of the benefits our clients have reported:

• Improved teamwork
• Better leadership
• Enhanced rapport, relationships and connections with team members and customers
• Less stress, tension and conflicts
• Clearer communication
• Elimination of misunderstandings
• Easier to persuade, motivate and influence team members and customers
• Understanding and appreciation of differences/diversity
• More positive, productive and profitable work culture.

(Article published with Arnold Sanow’s permission)