Posted on by Helene Johnson

On Being

There is a lot of literature about well-being, and living a balanced life, as a roadmap to a fulfilled life. Touted sometimes as the “new rich”, well-being is marketed as a secret passage to a life of happiness and wisdom, and the opposite of doing or having it all or as much as possible, as directed by societal aspirations and ambitions that we might get trapped in. Indeed, our modern lifestyles tend to blurr the lines between business and personal hours, and oftentimes, high achievers are conditioned to keep going from one milestone to another, from one success to another, from one task to another … This can eventually lead to burnout or dissatisfaction, a feeling that something is missing or that somehow or somewhere, we got lost in the noises of the world and society. One might find himself or herself rejecting either one or the other lifestyle, and with this rejection, either burn and crash, or risk being a little too complacent and deny himself or herself a natural potential for growth. In this mist of potentially good or bad ways, one lifestyle emerges as an enlightened way – a lifestyle called “being”. Not “well-being”, and not “super-being”, but simply “being”. A quote by deceased American make-up artist and author, Kevin Aucoin, could sum it up: “Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up, I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.”

So what is “being” after all and how much of that is “well-being” or “super-being”? Being is becoming as conscious as possible about our thoughts, values, choices and actions. Being becomes a lifestyle when it is a dynamic reflection of our continued experiences and experiments – sometimes with too much well-being or with too much burn and crash. By being, we give ourselves the space and freedom to experience a spectrum of outcomes and emotions, and constantly calibrate our lifestyles between dimensions of well-being and super-being.

The essence of being is finding our “roots” regardless of what’s happening around us or to us, and taking space and presence such that we remain in congruence with our needs and the needs of those around us. Being is derived from the experiences and emotions we live and not the things we consume, it is coming -sometimes in unexpected ways – with experiences that wake us up to what we might be truly needing or defining us but that we had not known up to that point. Once we experience the “being”, there is no turning back, because we understand that this path is uniquely ours to define and live – having gained more awareness and understanding about our true needs, desires and aspirations.

As a composer breathes new life into old music, so too a lifestyle of “being” is the oxygen to an authentic and rich life.

Some strategies and tactics conducive to a lifestyle of “being”:

– make it a practice to be intentional, present and a good listener, regardless of the circumstances or roles you find yourself in.

– keep experiencing with new skills, new ways of doing or responding to events or others, new activities and hobbies. In other words, cultivate a growth mindset and keep looking for ways to grow.

– simplify and declutter. The more overwhelmed you feel, the more simplification might be required to stay afloat or thrive. The easiest way to achieve a goal is to focus on it and avoid distractions or being spread out too thin. It is harder to simplify when you are a high performer or genuinely have many goals, but sometimes less is more and can be the breakthrough to getting to the next level or experiencing well-being and balance.

– get back up after you tripped. Disappointments, failure or frustrations are unavoidable parts of life. Sooner or later, we will experience negative events or emotions. Making the best of something negative, and finding a way to rebound and grow stronger from a bad experience or event is a recipe for inner growth.

– caring is sharing. Self care and care for others are the most efficient ways to reconnect with ourselves and these around us. Caring, sharing, and being vulnerable are a conduit for building positive emotions, resilience and hope in humanity and our own journeys. Being doesn’t happen “on our own” but in connection and connectivity with our tribe, environment and community.

Being is ultimately taking a driver’s seat to life with its ups and downs, and building an unique path of life by the experience of “being” across each experience, event, and decisions we made or face.

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Guest Article: How to Make Your New Year’s Goals Stick This Time

By Guest Writer: Amira Alvarez

Amira is the Founder and CEO of The Unstoppable Woman, a global coaching company focused on helping entrepreneurs, athletes, creatives, and rising stars in all fields achieve their dreams and goals.

Original article published on Amira’s website here.

Bonus materials: The Unstoppable Woman podcast; a free Morning Mindset Club class based on Napoleon Hill’s Grow and Think Rich book.

I know how ambitious you are, so I’m guessing you’ve already written out your New Year’s resolutions and goals. 😉 Or maybe you’re like me, and you set them a month and a half ago… (don’t judge, I get excited!)

It’s incredible to know exactly what you’re going for! It’s such an exhilarating feeling, and it’s a massive step in the right direction.

I speak with many women who know what they want, too – and a lot of them even know just what they need to do to get there.

But I’ve found a common challenge among most women who are still struggling to increase their income and scale their business. Even though they know what to do, they keep themselves from doing it.

Not intentionally or consciously, of course. But it still happens.

Often, change doesn’t feel so easy. You might set out to adopt a new habit or get rid of a limiting one… only to find that it’s so much more challenging than you initially thought it’d be.

But I want to let you in on a little secret.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Whatever issue you’re dealing with right now, it’s not that complicated to figure out. It only feels that way!

So why does it feel so hard??

It’s a self-image issue.

Maybe you don’t see yourself as good enough or capable enough. Maybe you don’t see yourself as a person who attracts (or deserves!) solid support and team. Maybe you don’t see yourself as a woman who asks for what she wants – and gets it. Maybe you don’t see yourself for whom making money is EASY!

This is pivotal. Your self-image determines everything that happens to you.

It affects your performance, behavior, confidence, mental health… the list goes on. So naturally, it’s going to come into play when you’re setting new goals and initiatives.

But what could become possible for you now – if you could solve this problem RIGHT NOW?

And more importantly… What will happen if you DON’T solve this problem? What do you stand to lose?

(Article reposted with Amira Alvarez’s permission)

Posted on by Helene Johnson · 1 Comment

Book Club – Thrive By Arianna Huffington

Book: Thrive, The Third Metric To Redefining Success And Creating A Life Of Well-Being, Wisdom, And Wonder

Publishing Year: 2014

About the Author: From the Thrive Global bio: Arianna Huffington is the founder and CEO of Thrive Global, the founder of The Huffington Post, and the author of 15 books, including Thrive and The Sleep Revolution. In 2016, she launched Thrive Global, a leading behavior change tech company with the mission of changing the way we work and live by ending the collective delusion that burnout is the price we must pay for success. Arianna has been named to Time Magazine’s list of the world’s 100 most influential people and the Forbes Most Powerful Women list. Originally from Greece, she moved to England when she was 16 and graduated from Cambridge University with an M.A. in economics. At 21, she became president of the famed debating society, the Cambridge Union. She serves on numerous boards, including Onex and The B Team. Her last two books, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder and The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life, One Night At A Time, both became instant international bestsellers.

Growth Is A Journey book review consists of a series of questions and answers, intended to represent 1-2 key nuggets of insights from the book, as well as personal takeaways with an invitation for readers to discover the book in its entirety.

Key message of the Book: Thrive is a well-documented book debunking the myths that power and money are key to a successful life. Arianna is introducing a third metric for a fulfilling life, which is the ability to create and sustain a life of well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving. Such third metric is like a third leg to a stool, without each the stool would collapse, just like Arianna experienced in April of 2007, when she found herself lying on the floor of her home office in a pool of blood, as result of exhaustion and lack of sleep.

What to know before reading: The book is not one of these “new age” memorandum, full of big (empty) words and proclaiming new-found wisdom and peace. It is a very down-to-earth and pragmatic book that takes the reader through a journey of documented facts and data, stories and science-based truths on the benefits of well-being, and of cultivating wisdom, wonder and giving. Arianna borrows research and stories from a range of sources, from her mom and family, to scientists, businessmen, psychologists, artists, and sportsmen.

Biggest personal learning from the book: Key personal learning from the book is that the third metric is not something to remember doing and looking for – from time to time; it is truly a way of life, a gift that keeps on giving to ourselves and these around us, including family, friends and our communities. Indeed, “what we’re beginning to recognize now is that success is not always about doing more, but also about doing better – and we do better when we’re connected to our inner wisdom, strength, and intuition.” Furthermore, such creation of wonder, wisdom, giving and well-being is not something that is magically arising in our lives; it is the result of practices, disciplines and routines that we need to make room for – from a genuine desire to find the true essence of ourselves, which in turn, leads to a life of thriving: “In our daily lives, moving from struggle to grace requires practice and commitment. But it’s in our hands. I’ve come to believe that living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to grace. Gratitude has always been for me one of the most powerful emotions. Grace and gratitude have the same Latin root, gratus. Whenever we find ourselves in a stop-the-world-I-want-to-get-off mindset, we can remember that there is another way and open ourselves to grace. And it often starts with taking a moment to be grateful for this day, for being alive, for anything.”

One specific learning from the book: A point made in the book is about time affluence and the importance of cultivating it. Arianna talks about how her mom always made a point that “rushing through life was a sure way to miss the gifts that come only when you give 100 percent of yourself to a task, a conversation, a dinner, a relationship, a moment.” Time affluence is thus more about the ability to be “in the moment” than having more time for a particular activity or in general. This is a pragmatic view that I particularly relate to. Because it is impossible to escape being subject to deadlines or finding ourselves not rushing through to get to a next appointment in some hectic days. However, Arianna highlights via Carl Honore’s work, the author of In Praise of Slowness, that “Speed can be fun, productive and powerful, and we would be poorer without it. What the world needs, and what the slow movement offers, is a middle path, a recipe for marrying la dolce vita with the dynamism of the information age. The secret is balance: instead of doing everything faster, do everything at the right speed. Sometimes fast. Sometimes slow. Sometimes in between.” The secret is balance… between speeding up and slowing down, …in taking on the stress of a challenge, as much as giving ourselves a mental and physical break.

How is this book different from other leadership books: The book is a compelling invitation to living a life of well-being, wisdom and wonder. It’s compelling not because of the author’s name, fame and editorial empire. It is compelling thanks to the myriad of life stories, facts, and science-based research that are woven to make this book a course in the third metric, that regardless of our social-economic statuses, is a sure way to ground ourselves and experience fulfillment and well-being.

Additional resources: The Third Metric with Google.

Posted on by Helene Johnson · 1 Comment

Guest Article: How Leaders Can Start Building Conflict Capacity

By Guest Writer: Marlene Chism

Marlene Chism is a consultant, international speaker and the author of 4 books: “Stop Workplace Drama” , “No-Drama Leadership“, 7 Ways to Stop Drama in Your Healthcare Practice, and soon (to be published in 2022) Conflict To Courage: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading. Marlene is an expert on the LinkedIn Learning platform offering courses in Anger Management; Difficult Conversations; Difficult Conversations for Managers, and Working with High Conflict People as a Manager. Marlene has a degree in Communications from Drury University and a master’s degree in Human Resources Development from Webster University. Connect with Marlene Chism via LinkedIn or at MarleneChism.com.

Original article published on Marlene’s website here and via Smart Brief.

No matter the technical or academic skills a leader possesses, there is an often-overlooked skill that’s essential: Conflict capacity.

Conflict capacity is the ability to tolerate conflict without getting triggered into unconscious reactions. A leader with low conflict capacity lacks the self-awareness to know when they have hit their emotional and mental limits, and as a result, mismanage conflict and make poor decisions. Many leaders I’ve worked with didn’t recognize the first signs of conflict and didn’t know when they were in too deep. As a result, they made significant mistakes that, while unintentional, caused a lot of lost time, lost productivity, and legal expenses for the organization.

Just like expanding your physical health through aerobic capacity, strength or stamina, building conflict capacity requires conditioning, discipline, and deliberate practice. You need to be able to withstand the storm instead of resorting to the coping mechanisms of avoiding, appeasing or aggression.

Here are four ways to start building more conflict capacity.

1. Reframe conflict

The first way we mismanage conflict is by the way we define conflict. Various dictionary definitions include a state of open fighting; a state of disagreement or disharmony between persons or ideas; a mental struggle; and a battle or war. No wonder most of us have such an aversion to conflict.

When you define conflict differently, you think about it differently. My working definition of conflict is “misalignment due to opposing drives, desires and demands.” This definition takes personality out of the equation, eliminates your assumptions about motive, and makes conflict much more interesting.

The visual I often use is two arrows going in opposite directions. For example, if two business-unit managers argue over budget, it’s not because they are bad people; it’s because they have not yet found ways to align their opposing desires, drives, and demands. Their arrows go in opposite directions until they have a conversation to increase understanding and decision-making.

2. Get curious

Every time you get defensive, remind yourself that defensiveness is a sign you need more information. It’s time to use curiosity as a tool for conflict management by asking good questions, like, “Walk me through your thinking,” or “I’m curious, how did you come to that decision?” Then you wait for the answer; you don’t wait to attack.

When you are genuinely curious, you ask good questions to try to get inside the head of the other person. You don’t assume you already know what they are going to say; after all, they haven’t said it yet. When you’re curious you don’t interrupt and demand to be heard, you use radical listening in order to make aligned decisions.

3. Expand your comfort zone

It’s difficult to change patterns, especially when working with high-conflict individuals. Sometimes you have to hold your tongue on the roof of your mouth to stop interrupting. You have to consciously slow down your pace in order to build tolerance. When every bone in your body wants to debate or prove a point, you build capacity by consciously deciding to pause and compose yourself.

One of my clients recently told me he waited to respond to a belligerent email. In the past, he would have lashed out immediately. I told him, “If a hammer is the only tool you have, it makes sense to try a few other tools to expand your capabilities. Sometimes you need some WD 40, and sometimes you need a wrench. You can always grab the hammer as plan B, but it doesn’t always need to be plan A.”

When it comes to building conflict capacity, comfort is not a requirement. Building conflict capacity means giving up what has made you comfortable up to this point. The biggest barrier to building conflict capacity (outside of cultural influences) is the commitment to comfort.

4. Seek mentoring

Why is it that we seldom ask for help when we are in over our heads? An easier way is to set yourself up for success before the drama ensues. If you’re a front-line leader, seek mentoring. Ask your boss to speak with you on a scheduled basis to discuss your decision-making. Be humble and make the case that you are looking out for the good of the organization. This is easy if you admire your boss, and more difficult if you don’t.

The very fact that you asked will elevate your boss’s awareness and will help you form a better relationship and understand things from their viewpoint. If your boss is growth-oriented,  they will be happy you asked. This keeps the door open when you start to have problems. The good news is that you will never blindside your boss if they know what you’re up to.

Conclusion

Advancing leaders without building conflict capacity leads to organizational problems. Although no leader enjoys conflict, competent leaders understand that conflict is not the problem: Mismanagement is. Every conflict avoided is a conflict mismanaged. The top skill for today’s leader is building conflict capacity.

Bonus resource: Building Conflict Capacity Youtube

(Article reposted with Marlene Chism’s permission)

Posted on by Helene Johnson · 1 Comment

Book Club – The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson

Book: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck, A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life

Publishing Year: 2016

About the Author: Mark Manson is an American blogger and author of three books including another #1 New York Times bestseller titled “Everything is F*ucked, A Book About Hope“. He is a speaker to large events and corporations, and has been featured in over 50 large newspapers and TV/radio shows including the BBC, the New York Times, Larry King and Dr Oz. In his words, “My life’s mission is to improve the public conversation around personal development and happiness. My approach to this has been to disrupt the self-help industry and debunk many of the old tropes about positive thinking and the law of attraction and other woo-woo nonsense.”

Growth Is A Journey book review consists of a series of questions and answers, intended to represent 1-2 key nuggets of insights from the book, as well as personal takeaways with an invitation for readers to discover the book in its entirety.

Key message of the Book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck is a one-of-a-kind self-book, written in a hilarious style -(and not for the faint of heart who cannot utter a word of profanity) – to break away from “all positivity, all happiness”, “you are special”, “feel better” books.  The counterinituitive approach comes from the fact that focusing on chassing positive experiences and wanting too much – giving too many f*cks-  is in fact negative: “The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience.  And, paradoxically,  the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” This is because “everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience“. When we learn to not give a f*ck about too many things, that’s when we focus on what really matters and we put things, problems and people we deal with in the right perspectives. As per Mark, “the idea of not giving a f*ck is a simple way of reorienting our expectations for life and choosing what is important and what it is not. Developing this ability leads to something I think of as a kind of “practical enlightenment“. The “subtle art of not giving a f*ck” comes down to “learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively – how to pick and choose what matters to you and what does not matter to you based on finely honed personal values.“

What to know before reading: The book debunks a series of fundamentally flawed beliefs that many of us need to unlearn. For instance, Chapter 2 walks us through how trying to feel always happy is a trap we fall into so often. Problems, discomfort and dissatisfaction are part of life irrespective of how much we try to avoid them. Happiness comes therefore from solving problems, it is a form of action and a constant work-in-progress because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress. “Suffering is biologically useful” in fact with emotions and pains giving us clues to problems and solutions. The conclusion -at the end of this 2nd chapter – is made obvious by these poignant points: “Who we are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”

Similar “north star” beliefs are presented across the rest of the book as counterintuitive truths challenging previously-held beliefs: You Are Not Special, The Value of Suffering, You Are Always Choosing, You’re Wrong About Everything, Failure Is The Way Forward, The Importance of Saying No, and Then You Die….

Biggest personal learning from the book: Eat your veggies! In the chapter You Are Not Special, Mark Manson makes a simple but powerful point that at the end of the day, our actions don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things. There are only very few special people and very few special actions in the long history of our civilization. Acknowledging this – eating this bland and mundane veggie- will actually take the pressure off and enable us to live a more meaningful and joyful life: “The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy, and that’s okay. This vegetable course will taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid accepting it. But once ingested, your body will wake up feeling more potent and more alive. After all, that constant pressure to be something amazing, to be the next big thing, will be lifted off your back. And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgement or lofty expectations. You will have a growing appreciation for life’s basic experiences: the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about. Sounds boring, doesn’t it? That’s because these things are ordinary. But maybe they are ordinary for a reason: because they are what actually matters.“

One specific learning from the book: A point made in the book is motivation doesn’t always comes first, with Mark reminiscing over a saying from his math teacher from high school: “Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow”. If we wait to feel motivated, we miss opportunities and what the solutions to problems could be. The principle “do something” means committing to doing something, anything …which will generate a chain reaction leading to increased inspiration and motivation.

Another specific takeaway from the book is that by consciously choosing what you give a f*ck about, you are also choosing what problems you have or don’t have to solve: e.g. if you choose to give a f*ck about your job or a particular relationship, you are also choosing to put up with some of the stresses that come along, and that’s okay: “True happiness occurs only when you find problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.” Clarifying and prioritizing good values is a first step to then only give a f*ck towards things that matter.

How is this book different from other leadership books: The book is a wake-up call about choosing what we care about and why, and about accepting adversity, uncertainty and failure as necessities for leading a “good life”. It is, as per Mark, “a refreshing slap in the face for all of us that we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives.“

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Perspectives On The Impostor Syndrome

As per Merriam Webster dictionary, the impostor syndrome is defined as “a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success“. While there are negative implications if we let the impostor syndrome paralyze us, it is a normal part of our evolution and growth.

In its purest form, the impostor syndrome can reflect a beautiful part of our souls, in particular, the humbleness and honesty we demonstrate by acknowledging how little we know compared to a vast ocean of information, expertise, skills and knowledge that can be acquired during a lifetime or in a specific area. Paradoxically, it can also reflect, although not that intuitively, a good amount of self-confidence over what we know we can become or can do more…even if it doesn’t appear as an immediate achievable outcome. In other words, the impostor syndrome is signaling the potential that we know deeply within us we can tap into further. The impostor syndrome can therefore fuel a continued state of determination, grit and growth mindset, exerting enough pressure and positive stress for us to always improve.

There can be some cyclicity to it as well. In its initial phase, the impostor syndrome can manifest itself more like shyness and lack of self-confidence. However, as we experience real growth, the impostor syndrome tends to loose its grip, because the pull becomes stronger than the push. The pull of who we are becoming is stronger than the push of the past, the fake or limiting beliefs, or the voice inside us who was once a dominating and sabotaging force in our lives… The power of genuine growth manifests itself in that every day, we wake up firmer and more confident in who we are becoming and the why that drives our determination, resourcefulness and perseverance. To get to this phase, it likely took fears, trials, and experimenting with feeling uncomfortable. The impostor syndrome is therefore an indicator that we are growing, perhaps at a higher-than-average speed. In this process and journey of becoming who we are meant to be, we discover than feeling uncomfortable and even “exposed” is actually the path to growth. The impostor syndrome can therefore be the runaway to reaching our potential and dreams.

If you are feeling the impostor syndrome in any area of your life, quiet down for a little and acknowledge your feelings and fears. It can give you great insight into how you can use the impostor syndrome as a catalyst for growth. For instance, if you are a young professional feeling shy and inadequate in a meeting with senior executives, you can spend more time practicing deep breathing and power poses to grow your ability to stay calm and confident in high-stake meetings. If you are a seasoned professional grappling with feelings of not being or doing enough, engage in some authentic feedback discussions with your peers or leaders to more objectively assess how well you are doing, and what your areas of strength or improvement really are.

Regardless of where you are in the impostor syndrome cycle, three powerful truths are key to making the impostor syndrome work for you and not against you:

  • Be compassionate with yourself and don’t be afraid to fail: failures and mistakes are actually the path to success. As Henry Ford noted, “failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
  • Change anxiety into enthusiasm: don’t make it about yourself and your fears… but about the people you serve, the values you hold dear, and the bigger picture.
  • Take action: even if you feel scared, identify the one step you could take to move forward even if that means to do the exact thing you are feeling uncomfortable about. You will be working your “growth” muscles, until one day, you are perfecting your art instead of waiting for the perfect plan and timing.

With the impostor syndrome most likely to impact, in fact, high-achievers and high-performers, remember the saying from motivational speaker Denis Waitley: “It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you are not.”

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Empowering Journeys: Anna Eleonor Roosevelt

There are so many inspiring quotes from Eleonor Roosevelt that it is hard to limit the list to only the ones below:

  • “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
  • “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.”
  • “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
  • “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes.”
  • “You must do the things you think you cannot do.”
  • “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”
  • “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.”
  • “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”
  • “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
  • “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.”

Who Was Eleonor Roosevelt?

Anna Eleonor Roosevelt (1884-1962) is the longest-serving First Lady of the United States – from 1933 to 1945 – during her husband President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s four terms in office. Former First Lady Eleonor Roosevelt is remembered for her humanitarian and activist work, which reshaped the role of a first lady from hostess to a powerhouse, and for her lead role in the drafting of the United Nations ‘Universal Declarations of Human Rights in 1948. President Harry S. Truman later referred to Eleonor as the “First Lady of the World” in recognition of her excellent service as the first United States Delegate to the United Nations General Assembly after the death of her husband in 1945.

Eleonor’s Journey of Strength and Empowerment

Eleonor was born in a prominent and wealthy family in Manhattan, New York City and was, through her father, a niece of President Theodore Roosevelt. Her childhood didn’t get spared by unfortunate events and pain which further contributed to her shyness and loneliness. By the age of 10, Eleonor mourned the death of both of her parents and of one of her two brothers. She was cared by her maternal grandmother and by age 15, Eleonor was sent to attend a boarding school in London, where she was taught, among others, a sense of independence, service and social responsibility. Upon her return in the U.S. in 1905, Eleonor married her fifth cousin, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who later became the President of the United States. A turning point in Eleonor’s life was when her husband was diagnosed with polio and lost the use of his legs. Despite the diagnosis, Eleonor convinced her husband to not give up his political career and started taking a very active part in her husband’s political life and presidential ambitions, supporting him and at times, speaking on his behalf at public events. Eventually, Eleonor turned into a strong advocate and activist for human and civil rights, for women’s empowerment, children’s causes and racial justice. As First Lady, she wrote a daily column in the national press, did weekly radio broadcasts, held press conferences for women correspondents, and traveled across the United States to experience first-hand what the state of the nation and its people – especially the forgotten and oppressed – were during the Great Depression, as a way to shape and influence the work of her husband. She had become her husband’s “eyes, ears and legs” on the ground helping to shape policies like New Deal and beyond. During World Word II, Eleonor traveled extensively to visit troops as a Red Cross ambassador. By the time of her death in 1962, Eleonor became “one of the most esteemed women in the world”.

Her life is recounted in her “Autobiography” released in 1961 which included several of her books published earlier like “This Is My Story”, “This I Remember”, and “On My Own”.

Additional resources: “Her Life in Pictures“; Eleonor Roosevelt Dies“.

Posted on by Helene Johnson · 1 Comment

Guest Article: Get Better Daily

By Guest Writer: Art Petty

Art Petty helps executives and firms develop the emerging leaders critical for their future in this era of change and uncertainty. His clients include executives and teams in electronics, retailing, manufacturing, government, not-for-profit, and finance. Art has written multiple books, including Leadership Caffeine—Ideas to Energize Your Professional Development, Practical Lessons in Leadership—A Guidebook for Aspiring and Experienced Leaders, and Leadership Caffeine for Project Managers. Additionally, Art has served as the Leadership and Management Expert for The Balance (formerly About.com), and he has published over 1,300 (and counting) articles on his widely covered Management Excellence blog. Art teaches management courses at the graduate and undergraduate levels at DePaul University.

Original article published here.

Developing as a leader doesn’t follow a straight line. It’s different for every individual. Focus on getting better at this job daily.

Here are five ideas to help you jump-start this good work.

1. Get In the Game

Time, place, and circumstances play a big part in everyone’s development. Insert yourself into the fray and become part of the solution to the problems holding people and teams back.

Look for communication or process issues. I call these gray-zone problems. Everyone sees them, but no one knows who owns fixing them. Be that person. Learn to lead in the gray zones.

2. Study the Leaders In Your Environment

The style and character of the leaders around you are critical factors in your growth. We learn a great deal by observing other leaders in action.

Learn from the great leaders. Study them. Look at what works and experiment with their approaches and make them yours.

Learn from the lousy leaders. Study them. Look at what doesn’t work and commit to never doing it that way.

3. Accept that You Have to Experiment to Grow as a Leader

While you don’t want your team members to feel like lab rats, you must experiment with your approaches and tactics to see what works for people and your situation.

There are nearly infinite variations of how you engage, communicate with, coach, support, and develop your team members.

Experiment until you get it right.

If no one is walking through your open door, shift your communication approach. Flex your communication approach to their needs.

If individuals look like they want to march on you carrying torches for that Monday 8:00 a.m. team meeting, change the time and day.

If you haven’t asked them how you are doing, start now. You might have to ask them 47 times before you gain meaningful input, but if you’re working hard on growing trust and treating people with respect, they’ll eventually relax and share nuggets.

4. Let Them Help you Define the Experiments.

I learned over time to experiment with roles and structure.

I gave people a voice, and we worked together until we got the sides of the Rubik’s cube to line up.

Never stop experimenting. If you do, what worked yesterday or even today is bound to kick you in the teeth tomorrow.

5. Learn and Live the Universal Formula for Leadership Success

It turns out, getting good at this job of leading isn’t all that complicated. There’s a formula.

Make sure everyone feels respected.

Respect begets trust.

Trust is the basis for performance.

The formula is simple, just not simplistic:

Respect + Trust = Performance

Live this daily!

The Bottom-Line for Now:

I checked, and your job description doesn’t put you in charge of making people better. It’s all about you working on yourself to get better. Put most of your getting better energy into working on you, not them. They’ll view it as a sign of respect. It’s up to you to complete the formula.

Art's Signature
Posted on by Helene Johnson

Guest Article: How to be an Inclusive Leader?

By Guest Writer: Jennifer V. Miller

Jennifer V. Miller researches and writes about the evolving role of leadership in the workplace. Read more articles at her award-winning blog The People Equation and sign up for her newsletter to receive bonus subscriber-only content and the latest tips to become an inspiring, effective leader.

Are you on the “home team” at work? Otherwise known as the “traditional majority culture,”  author Laura Kriska uses the “home team advantage” analogy for the invisible edge people on the “home team” possess. Because the rules for belonging are unwritten (and nobody’s wearing a uniform), people on the team are unaware of the ways in which they’re excluding others. Want to foster a true culture of diversity? To be an inclusive leader, it’s up to you to expand the home team roster. 

Kriska, a cross-cultural consultant and author of The Business of We: The Proven Three-Step Process for Closing the Gap Between Us and Them in Your Workplace defines the home team as the “homogeneous group in power . . .[their] norms of communication and behavior become the standard by which all people in the organization are measured.” Kriska writes that this dynamic, if not addressed, can create an “Us versus Them” vibe in the workplace, with unintentional in-groups and out-groups. “Until those on the home team engage in self-reflections and understand their role in any specific ‘Us versus Them’ gaps,” she writes, “diversity will be viewed as a problem to be solved rather than a strength to be leveraged toward successful outcomes.”

Kriska, who was born in Tokyo and raised in the American Midwest, offers important “big picture” observations about creating an inclusive culture in her book. For an excerpt, read this piece from the CEO Porchlight blog on building internal infrastructure to end Us versus Them thinking. Important as the systemic changes are for a truly inclusive workplace, I wanted to know about the daily “people equation” elements of inclusion. So I reached out to Laura Kriska to learn more.

In an email interview with Kriska, I asked about leaders’ role in making people feel they’re part of the home team. She told me that, post-pandemic, as white collar employees return to in-person work after many months of working from home, leaders have a rare opportunity to establish new norms of inclusion. “Some of these colleagues have never met in person,” she noted. “It is mission critical that leaders take action on modeling inclusive behavior by first measuring their own level of interaction with relevant ‘them’ cultural groups. A cultural group can be as big as an entire country or as small as a single person,” Kriska explained. When viewed through the lens of one person potentially being their own “cultural group,” leaders have enormous opportunities to create inclusiveness and belonging. 

And that’s what I appreciated about Kriska’s book. It tackles the systemic issues that often lead to “othering” in the workplace. And, she also offers practical advice for one-to-one or one-to-group settings that leaders often find themselves in. For example, many of the suggestions she offers in her book are simple “tweaks” of language and actions. 

A few snippets for your consideration:

  • Pay attention to the way people joke with one another; are certain “innocuous” statements like “You kids can’t even eat lunch without taking a picture of it” tossed about?
  • When team members talk in a group; is everyone included in the conversation? Or does one topic (sports, parenting, socializing outside of work) tend to dominate?
  • Help people build bridges around multiple “identities” – such as occupations, life experiences and skills rather than age and race
  • If you are part of the “home team”, reach out to people who are part of different “teams” to ask—how may I do a better job of including a variety of voices?

As Kriska writes in The Business of We, “building bridges across cultural differences in the workplace requires emotional bravery from leaders—the kind that can seem scary and overwhelming to otherwise confident and skillful people.” Yet, it can be done. The first step is simply paying attention. And then having the courage to speak up for those who have not yet been actively recruited (metaphorically speaking) onto the home team. When you add to your roster in this way, you’ll be seen as an inclusive leader. And that’s a home team advantage worthy of the effort.

(Reprinted with permission)

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Cicadas and Leaders, An Emergence Story

Over the last few weeks, billions of cicadas, insects with large red eyes, black abdomens and orange wings, have been emerging across Eastern United States, after spending 17 years underground. Because of their periodical emergence, these species – among over 3,000 species of cicadas – are called periodical cicadas and are organized into Roman-numeral Broods. 2021 cicadas are from Brood X and have been spending the last 17 years underground, feeding onto tree roots, maturing before surfacing as adults in order to mate then die. Male cicadas make a lot of noise to attract a mate -cicada “songs” can reach 90 decibels, while female cicadas will lie as many as 600 rice-shaped eggs in woody plant tissues. Once young cicadas hatch, they will fall to the ground and eventually dig their way through to find roots. While their life cycle is long, their life as adults is short, with periodical cicadas dying within 2-4 weeks following their emergence.

Cicadas in Eastern United States

Such a fascinating feat of nature can certainly offer a few lessons in leadership and personal development:

–Purpose requires maturity and patience: emerging into our destinies takes time, in the periodical cicadas ‘case 17 years. When we are unclear or uncertain about our lives, calling, next steps or we doubt the process, it’s easy to blame, call quits or sabotage ourselves or these around us. The condition for these periodical cicadas to emerge is a 17-year growth process underground, which marks these species ‘set point for adulthood and readiness. We cannot microwave maturity and leadership and more often than not, growth in these areas happen when challenges, uncertainty or hardship strike. Brené Brown notes in her book Rising Strong how “he or she who is willing to be the most uncomfortable is not only the bravest but rises the fastest“.

–The power of coming together is in both number but also diversity: the swarming of millions of sound-producing cicadas on the clock, every 17 years, is inspiring and awing for more than entomologists. There is power in the numbers in which cicadas emerge, complementarity of their roles (female and male) and a common vision – in the cicadas ‘case, the whole process underpins the survival of these species. In both personal and professional lives, the power of like minded individuals and teams, of shared values and of a shared purpose can move mountains. Likewise, there is power in complementarity and diversity of roles, experiences and perspectives. When we come together and mesh our differences and strengths, rather than find fault or feel threatened, breakthroughs -at an individual, societal and institutional level happen.

–Calling is about surviving and thriving: the emergence of cicadas has a clear purpose: reproduction and continuity of these species. Similarly, we all have our unique purpose. It takes courage and self-awareness to emerge into our purpose. Sometimes, it requires to let go of the expectations of others, find and follow our own voices and calling. Other times, it is letting go of limiting beliefs which no longer serve or have power over us. Many times, it’s simply daring to be, lead, stop, love, let go… Cicadas are showing us how it can be as much as a survival matter to assume our uniqueness and emerge into who we are called to be and who we are capable of becoming.

The cicadas emergence will happen again in 17 years. Who will we be? What will we do? How our planet and lives be 17 years from now? What if we lived the next 17 years with a strong certainty that no matter what happens, we will emerge because that’s woven in our human story? How would we act or be if we knew that irrespective of how deep we dig or fall, we will emerge into our calling?

Additional resource: A fun and educational video on 2021 Brood X cicadas

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Guest Article: Are You Emotionally Intelligent?

By Guest Writer Arnold Sanow

Arnold Sanow, MBA, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional), is a speaker, trainer, coach, and facilitator. He is the author of 7 books to include, “Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere” and “Present with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz.” He was recently named by successful meetings magazine as one of the top 5 best “bang for the buck” speakers in the USA.  www.arnoldsanow.com  

In working with leaders and teams to help them get along better with colleagues, customers and team members, one of the major factors that will either enhance or derail relationships and produce a more positive, productive and profitable culture is emotional intelligence.

What is emotional intelligence? It is the ability to work well with others, know oneself and be aware of their emotions and sensitive to the feeling and emotions of others. Emotionally intelligent people are able to motivate themselves and their teams without using fear or intimidation and to be empathetic.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman states there are 5 elements that make up Emotional Intelligence:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

To see if you are emotionally intelligent here are 15 questions that can help you determine your Emotional Intelligence IQ. Be honest and work on the ones you did not answer positively.

  • Are you aware of your feelings and why you feel that way?
  • Do you know your strengths as well as your weaknesses and blind spots?
  • Do you know when your behaviors or actions affect others?
  • Are you able to manage your distressing emotions well and bounce back quickly from stressful situations?
  • Do you adapt well to change?
  • Are you able to manage your emotions, stay calm and not go into “road rage” when you feel anxious or upset?
  • Are you able to listen without making judgements and assumptions?
  • Are you aware of the feelings, perspectives and “hidden meanings” of those around you?
  • Can you admit to others that you made a mistake?
  • Are you willing to compromise and be open to win-win agreements?
  • Are you focused and in the present when talking with others?
  • Are you open to honest feedback and constructive criticism about your work without getting defensive or making excuses?
  • Are you good at building rapport, relationships and connections with others?
  • Do you take responsibility for your actions without blaming others?
  • Are you empathetic?

Based on the results from our training and coaching programs here are some of the benefits our clients have reported:

  • Improved teamwork
  • Better leadership
  • Enhanced rapport, relationships and connections with team members and customers
  • Less stress, tension and conflicts
  • Clearer communication
  • Elimination of misunderstandings
  • Easier to persuade, motivate and influence team members and customers
  • Understanding and appreciation of differences/diversity
  • More positive, productive and profitable work culture.

(Article published with Arnold Sanow’s permission)

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Book Club – Atomic Habits by James Clear

Book: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results Atomic Habits

Publishing Year: 2018

About the Author: James Clear, one of the world’s leading experts on habit creation, is the author of Atomic Habits, a #1 New York Times bestseller which has sold in over 4 million copies worldwide. The creator of the Habit Journal and The Habits Academy, and the publisher of the 3-2-1 newsletter, James writes about habits, decision making, and continuous improvement, and is a frequent speaker at major companies and events.

Growth Is A Journey book review consists of a series of questions and answers, intended to represent 1-2 key nuggets of insights from the book, as well as personal takeaways with an invitation for readers to discover the book in its entirety.

Key message of the Book: Atomic Habits provides a receipt for success in life via the habits we develop or break. The entire philosophy of the book is that “your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits” and that we should always be in the pursuit of a 1% improvement: “If you get one percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done.” If understood and implemented, the laws and systems around habit creation will result in changes that even if they “seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you’re willing to stick with them for years.”

The Four Laws of Behavior Change – “Make it obvious. Make it attractive. Make it easy. Make it satisfying” – are decoded by James Clear via a mixture of real-life examples and stories, and science-based insights and findings. Good habits are not the result of willpower but of the systems we put in place; likewise, we can put tools, strategies and systems in place to break bad habits by making them “invisible, unattractive, hard or unsatisfying”: “When scientists analyze people who appear to have tremendous self-control, it turns out those individuals aren’t all that different from those who are struggling. Instead, “disciplined” people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations.“

What to know before reading: The book is a step-by-step plan for developing good habits and breaking bad ones. After going through some Fundamentals on the compounding power of small changes, James Clear delves into the four laws of habits, which can be applied to develop or break habits.

To make it more concrete, as an example, the 1st Law section starts with a chapter titled The Man Who Didn’t Look Right. It starts with a story of a paramedic who during a family event said to her father-in-law that he didn’t look right. Jokingly, he replied: “Well, I don’t like your looks, either.” She insisted that her father-in-law goes to the hospital, and a few hours later, he was undergoing lifesaving surgery. Her daughter-in-law’s intuition had saved him. After several other examples of similar accurate predictions, James Clear lays out the theory that “with enough practice, you can pick up on the cues that predict certain outcomes without consciously thinking about it. Automatically, your brain encodes the lessons learned through experience“. In other words, “the more automatic a behavior becomes, the less likely we are to consciously think about it“. If we want to change a behavior, we need to increase our awareness. Two tools are offered for this purpose: a “point-and-call” system to verbalize our actions and therefore move from non-consciousness to consciousness; and a “habits scorecard” to track our habits, be it good, bad or neutral. Both tools will enable a better acknowledgement of engrained habits and their associated cues, a starting point in firming up a habit or breaking it.

Throughout the book, the reader will be discovering insights and research-based principles around the science of habits, with James Clear drawing on ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience, and on real-life examples.

Biggest personal learning from the book: Key personal learning was the idea that a habit can be successfully created or replaced not based on sheer willpower but on the tools, strategies and practices we develop around that habit – and this has application in both our personal and professional lives. The book makes it obvious how success around our behaviors has nothing to do with our personality or motivation, it simply comes down to our systems and understanding the Four Laws of behavior change.

One specific learning from the book: A point made in the book is around one of the best ways to start a new habit, called habit stacking. This is the practice of pairing a new habit with a current habit: “After [current habit], I will [new habit]”. The habit stacking enables building a new habit by creating a structure and a routine benefiting from the momentum created from the existing behavior, which becomes a cue for the new habit. For instance, “After I exercise in the morning, I will meditate for five minutes” can lead to a new routine on meditating.

How is this book different from other leadership books: The book was recommended to me as one of the best personal development books out there. It didn’t disappoint – it’s a very powerful guide, offering practical wisdom, tools and strategies to build good habits and stop bad ones.

Additional resources: For more details Books | James Clear

Atomic Habits Resources | James Clear

Source/Credit: Atomic Habits (Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results by James Clear)