Posted on by Helene Johnson

Book Review: Essentialism

Book: Essentialism, The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Author: Greg McKeown, speaker, bestseller author, and podcaster

Key message of the book: Essentialism is a practical and insightful guide about a lifestyle and mindset, defined by making the wisest choices – at all times – in terms of how we spend our limited time and energy:

“The life of an Essentialist is a life lived without regret. If you have correctly identified what really matters, if you invest your time and energy in it, then it is difficult to regret the choices you make. You become proud of the life you have chosen to live.”

As per the author, the essentialism is not about getting more things done nor about doing less for the sake of doing less – it is about operating “at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential”.

The core mindset of an essentialist is doing “the right thing the right way at the right time”.

The core truths of an essentialist are: “I choose to”, “Only a few things matter“, and “I can do anything but not everything”.

Essentialists understand that:

  • We all have the ability to choose, and we need to heighten our awareness to such ability. When we forget this core truth – our ability to choose- “drip by drip we allow our power to be taken away until we end up becoming a function of other people’s choices – or even a function of our own past choices.”
  • There are always trade-offs to make: “As painful as they can sometimes be, trade-offs represent a significant opportunity. By forcing us to weigh both options and strategically select the best one for us, we significantly increase our chance of achieving the outcome we want.”
  • We can live a life by design vs by default – by distinguishing “the vital few from the trivial many”, and by removing “obstacles so the essential things have clear, smooth passage.” The result of such discipline – of saying no to some choices, of choosing wisely, of eliminating nonessentials – is living “a life true to yourself, not the life others expect from you“: “Everything changes when we give ourselves permission to be more selective in what we choose to do.”
  • We need to create space to think, explore, and recharge. Sleep, for instance, is a necessity and a priority to achieve the highest levels of mental contribution.
  • We need to be ultra selective: “If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no”. An essentialist applies tougher criteria for decision making. For instance, the “90 percent rule” means applying the single most important criterion for a decision and give each option a score between 0 and 100. Any option rated lower than 90% gets eliminated.
  • We need to be intentional about our choices and such clarity brings breakthroughs and focus on the right things and people in our lives: “Creating an essential intent is hard. It takes courage, insight, and foresight to see which activities and efforts will add up to our simple point of contribution. It takes asking tough questions, making real trade-offs, and exercising serious discipline to cut out the competing priorities that distract us from our true intention. Yet it is worth the effort because only with real clarity of purpose can people, teams and organizations fully mobilize and achieve something truly excellent.“
  • We need to learn to say no and set boundaries as often as necessary. Saying no is hard because it’s engrained in our human wiring to depend on others – when our survival was tied to belonging to a tribe, hunting together for food: “Nonessentialists say yes because of feelings of social awkwardness and pressure. They say yes automatically, without thinking often in pursuit of the rush one gets from having pleased someone. But Essentialists know that after the rush comes the pang of regret. They know they will soon feel bullied and resentful -both at the other person and at themselves. Eventually they will wake up to the unpleasant reality that something more important must now be sacrificed to accommodate this new commitment.“

In summary, eliminating, condensing, limiting, cutting, reducing are ways of Essentialists. When these things happen, Essentialists have time and energy to perfect execution for what is very important in their lives. They do that by practicing extreme and early preparation, starting small and building momentum towards their goals, staying focused on making progress, and celebrating acts of progress – all in what becomes a regular routine -perfected with practice – for long term success: “The Essentialist designs a routine that makes achieving what you have identified as essential the default position. Yes, in some instances an Essentialist still has to work hard, but with the right routine in place each effort yields exponentially greater results.”

Essentialists fundamentally understand two powerful truths:

(1) “of all forms of human motivation the most effective one is progress”

(2) there is only now, meaning being tuned in and doing what is important – right now, not in the past and not in the future.

Over time, with practicing making the wisest possible choices of time and energy, essentialism becomes a way of life that brings meaning and purpose.

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Disconnection is not an end but a beginning

Pressures in life can be insidious and, from time to time, the pressure cooker gets unbearable. We admit to these pressures often after the water has boiled over, and we understand that the disconnection was a natural consequence of absorbing spoken or unspoken and acknowledged or yet-to-be-acknowledged pressures.

The story of our modern and highly interconnected lives is pressure… to fit in, to be successful by societal standards, to be and do it all … while pressure for our early hominins was getting chased by lions in the savannah. These modern life pressures can come from the most well intended people around us, from ourselves or from standards that, at times, we set too high. They could also come from people who, at the end, are consciously or unconsciously not well intended, with whom we have yet to set proper boundaries.

lf you are at one of these crossroads – where disconnection is what you feel in the moment or have been feeling for a while, the sooner you befriend it, the sooner you can come to grasp with it and use it for your growth. This is an opportune moment to start afresh, more self-aware of what it takes to keep a healthy and happy self – you!

A practical guide to transform a “disconnection” crisis follows below with 5 critical steps:

  1. Pause and Journal: You can’t outrun disconnection. The longer you live with it, the higher the risk that it turns into something more severe, for instance burnout or physical ailments. Even a few days of feeling disconnected warrants a pause. You deserve it. Then jot down what weighs heavy in your mind or body – in full or partial sentences, or simply words – connected to the pressures that might have burdened you lately. You know you are getting to the end of your list when your journaling starts being about what you are grateful for and what your heart yearns the most, including feeling appreciated and loved, which are fundamental needs that motivate our behaviors.
  2. Evaluate these pressure points with your morality and values compass: Once these pressures points are exposed on a piece of paper, it is easier to acknowledge and analyze them. What is real versus perception? What comes from your judgment or the judgement of others? Which ones should you give weight to? Which ones deserve an honest conversation with yourself or someone in your life? Which ones would you want or need to carry forward? Which ones should you leave behind as not aligned with your true values, needs or aspirations?
  3. Rest: Physical rest, be it longer sleep or naps, and taking time for yourself are oxygen to human life. It is when rest lacks that pressures accumulate until everything snowballs into disconnection, burnout, disease or depression. No matter how temporary your state of disconnect has been, give yourself a good few days of rest.
  4. Commit to a fresh start with at least one identified change: With a rested mind and body, and more self-awareness, you can finally see through what has been weighing you down and what adjustments you need to make – big or small- to free yourself from undue pressures. Think in terms of what you need to do to cut the source of pressure points that don’t deserve your focus and energy. As to due pressures, even if there is no immediate action you can identify as needed to be taken, the simple fact of having cleared your mind, will position you to embrace what the day brings and your responsibilities with more clarity and energy.
  5. Remember you are your biggest asset: The danger of disconnection is feeling like a stranger in your own life, and that can remove agency and alter your choices and with them, your future over time. Health can also take a toll from prolonged disconnection. That is the opposite of what we owe to ourselves: self-compassion, self-connection and self-care. When we are our biggest supporters, we can also be better supporters of people around us.

Author Kamal Ravikant noted:

“Pain doesn’t last. And when it’s gone, we have something to show for it: growth.”

Likewise, disconnection doesn’t last … if we let it speak to us and shape the adjustments we need to make in our lives.

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Book Review: Wild Courage

Book: Wild Courage, Go After What You Want And Get It

Author: Jenny Wood, a former successful executive at Google, and a speaker and writer on leadership development

Key message of the book: “Wild Courage” is an easy-to-read book, written with a clear purpose to fuel your personal and professional growth ambitions. With a lot of anecdotes and funny stories from her own life and career, the author is reframing nine negatively labeled traits into skills to develop to achieve success.

Each of these nine traits is defined by the author with the word “courage”:

  • Weird is “the courage to stand out”.
  • Selfish is “the courage to stand up for what you want”.
  • Shameless is “the courage to stand behind your efforts and abilities”.
  • Obsessed is “the courage to set your own standard”.
  • Nosy is “the courage to dig deeper”.
  • Manipulative is “the courage to influence others”.
  • Brutal is “the courage to protect your time and energy”.
  • Reckless is “the courage to take calculated risks”.
  • Bossy is “the courage to listen and lead”.

Courage is presented as key to success: “Successful people take action despite their fear. They muster the courage to do what’s necessary to succeed before it’s encouraged by others -or even considered socially acceptable.”

Each trait is defined in a new perspective, a constructive and positive one, in a way that makes it clear why such trait is necessary to get what we want in life.

  • Weird is owning your greatest strengths and being authentic about them “instead of second-guessing yourself out of desperation to fit in.”
    • “It’s about being yourself and revealing that self appropriately, both in your resume and everywhere else.”
    • “Figuring out who you are – how you think and solve problems, what you enjoy and dislike, the values that matter most -is essential in (a) deciding what to chase in life and (b) actually catching in.”
  • Selfish is the courage to “champion your agenda at least as strongly as you champion the needs of others.”
    • “Fighting for yourself just as enthusiastically as you fight for your friends and colleagues.”
  • Shameless is “no more apologizing for who you are and what you can do”. While shame is “a normal and healthy reaction”, “applying shame’s energy to finding a solution brings relief. Taking action tells your brain that you’re solving the problem. It’s the lingering shame that has to go.”
    • “Shame doesn’t care what you’re saying or asking. It just wants you quiet, inoffensive, invisible -“safe”. Opening that big mouth habitually builds that shameless muscle.”
  • Obsessed is having the inner drive to excel. “When you’re obsessed, you find the discipline to get out of your own way” and adopt a growth mindset where everything can be learned: “I’m not the leader I need to be yet”, while taking care of your physical and mental health and having proper boundaries.
    • “Obsession derives from two convictions: (1) that what you want matters and (2) that you can achieve what you want with sufficient effort.”
    • “You will never grow and evolve without pushing yourself to do the hard, careful and deliberate work that tests the limits of your capabilities.”
  • Nosy is letting curiosity be a compass, without being too aggressive, obnoxious or disrespectful in interactions with others.
    • “Ask [questions] politely, prioritize the mutual win and act on what you learn”.
    • “Answer questions with the same degree of vulnerability, authenticity and candor you expect from others.”
  • Manipulative is not about using others but “being influential, inspiring, motivating and persuasive” by adding positive energy in any room – in a truthful and authentic way.
    • “Warmth isn’t being complicated. It can be as simple as framing a neutral message in a more positive way.”
  • Brutal is being “direct, clear and consistent with your words and actions.”
    • “To achieve your goals, you must commit to spending your time and energy in accordance with your true priorities, no matter how painful it sometimes feels.”
    • “Brutal frees up time, energy and mental bandwidth”.
  • Reckless is to “err on the side of action”.
    • “You can seek perfection or progress. Not both. And, unlike perfection, progress is possible.”
    • “To the fragile ego, any failure is unacceptable. Successful people fail far more than most people do.”
  • Bossy is about being a “genuine boss: an empathic, supportive, yet decisive leader who knows when to speak up and when to listen, when to let the team figure a problem out themselves, and when to step in with help and a fresh perspective.”
    • “Use your power responsibly”.

This book review by Growth Is A Journey is an invitation for readers to discover the book in its entirety.

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Managing Overwhelm

Diocletian Palace – Cathedral Bell Tower, Split, Croatia

Nelson Mandela once said: “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Likewise, being productive and determined in the pursuit of one’s goals does not mean living a life without overwhelm. It is quite likely that sooner or later, or at repeated times, we find ourselves in a state of overwhelm, challenged by the scope or number of challenges to tackle, be it at home, work or both.

Overwhelm is usually experienced as anxiety, stress, or lack of control over our daily routines and life experiences.

The feeling of overwhelm is not entirely bad news, as long as we are dealing with it effectively.  This doesn’t mean that we should focus our energies to banish it once and forever. It simply means that every time we feel overwhelmed, as often as that might happen, we don’t spin out of control, but we use our gained awareness for self-empowerment, by turning the state of overwhelm into a steppingstone for growth and as feedback for continuous improvements in our lives.

There are three simple steps to managing overwhelm, which I call ABC:

  • Step 1: Acknowledge
    • Taking gauge of our overwhelm levels is critical to avoiding burnout and operating at our highest productivity levels. Chronic or acute pain, lack of sleep or other physical ailments are typical signs of overwhelm or even burnout.
    • The act of acknowledging overwhelm is allowing us to pause before some recalibration and action. We are, often times, one deep breath away from the path that leads to success.
  • Step 2: Be bold
    • Simply acknowledging that we are overwhelmed does not mean conquering overwhelm. Even if we might not feel like it, it is important to set ourselves into motion – by thinking of what’s most important for us to do in that moment, and what steps we can take. Then, simply go about it and do it! This could include making a phone call, signing up for a class, or simply taking a nap or many naps if you are chronically tired.
    • Boldness can be in the action to be taken but it could also be in what we are deciding to no longer act upon, or in what could be placed on hold, abandoned or replaced.
    • This step is, at the end, deciding in that particular moment what our top priorities are – at least on the very short term – which ought to be aligned with our top values and in touch with our limited time and resources. This can be done by assessing what can wait, what is time sensitive, what is important, what can be delegated, or where we might need to get help…If this part is hard, use the 5-year test … imagine yourself 5 years from now and think of what would matter the most that you have done or achieved in that moment.
  • Step 3: Celebrate
    • We are human beings and not human doings.
    • Often times, we underestimate the power of rewarding ourselves after taking a first step, reaching a milestone or meeting a goal. The more we celebrate ourselves and grow into our biggest cheerleaders, the happier and more resilient we become.
    • A reward can take many forms including rest, time set aside for a hobby, or simply being around positive people, who understand the cathartic power of celebrating wins and victories of ourselves and of these around us.

As simple as these ABC steps might appear, they are effective because they are pushing us away from overwhelm into an empowered mindset, confident in and at peace about our choices, priorities and immediate action.

And if you are on the lookout for some further tips on managing overwhelm, several listed below were learned the hard way on my own personal and professional journey:

  • Every time you remember something to do or act upon, write it down in your notebook, planner, or your calendar, …
  • Do a regular brain dump…listing all items that are on your mind, some of them turned into clutter.
  • If you can’t make progress or you have too many things you would like to accomplish, make a point to spend 15 minutes on each of your goals every day or have dedicated blocks of time in the week for your top 3 goals. If you have more than 3 goals, think about what can be put on hold or sequenced in a way that doesn’t put stress on your limited resources. Think what goals could be thought of in terms of ranges and could be deemed achieved whether it’s at minimum, average or maximum levels: e.g. the goal of being fit could be deemed achieved in a week by going to the gym anywhere between 2 and 5 times.
  • Be mindful of how many workstreams are started vs completed. It can be more productive and less stressful to not start something new, until the item that might clutter your planner, or mental and physical energy is covered. Sometimes it takes overall less energy to get that item done, rather than to carry it through on your to-do list from a day, week, month to another – taxing your energy and happiness levels.
  • Ask for help, rest, take breaks. This is something that could make type A personalities uncomfortable, while high achievers understand that balance and high productivity are not something we achieve 24/7 but an optimization function across emotions, resources, energy, and responsibilities.

Although our brains like us to think we are perpetually in survival mode, it behooves us to draw a line in the sand and pragmatically deal with overwhelm. We are powerful human beings with the capacity to pause, take action, then celebrate; these are three simple steps which, if turned into a lifestyle, have the potential to lead to beautiful and fulfilling lives.