Posted on by Helene Johnson

Book Review: Wild Courage

Book: Wild Courage, Go After What You Want And Get It

Author: Jenny Wood, a former successful executive at Google, and a speaker and writer on leadership development

Key message of the book: “Wild Courage” is an easy-to-read book, written with a clear purpose to fuel your personal and professional growth ambitions. With a lot of anecdotes and funny stories from her own life and career, the author is reframing nine negatively labeled traits into skills to develop to achieve success.

Each of these nine traits is defined by the author with the word “courage”:

  • Weird is “the courage to stand out”.
  • Selfish is “the courage to stand up for what you want”.
  • Shameless is “the courage to stand behind your efforts and abilities”.
  • Obsessed is “the courage to set your own standard”.
  • Nosy is “the courage to dig deeper”.
  • Manipulative is “the courage to influence others”.
  • Brutal is “the courage to protect your time and energy”.
  • Reckless is “the courage to take calculated risks”.
  • Bossy is “the courage to listen and lead”.

Courage is presented as key to success: “Successful people take action despite their fear. They muster the courage to do what’s necessary to succeed before it’s encouraged by others -or even considered socially acceptable.”

Each trait is defined in a new perspective, a constructive and positive one, in a way that makes it clear why such trait is necessary to get what we want in life.

  • Weird is owning your greatest strengths and being authentic about them “instead of second-guessing yourself out of desperation to fit in.”
    • “It’s about being yourself and revealing that self appropriately, both in your resume and everywhere else.”
    • “Figuring out who you are – how you think and solve problems, what you enjoy and dislike, the values that matter most -is essential in (a) deciding what to chase in life and (b) actually catching in.”
  • Selfish is the courage to “champion your agenda at least as strongly as you champion the needs of others.”
    • “Fighting for yourself just as enthusiastically as you fight for your friends and colleagues.”
  • Shameless is “no more apologizing for who you are and what you can do”. While shame is “a normal and healthy reaction”, “applying shame’s energy to finding a solution brings relief. Taking action tells your brain that you’re solving the problem. It’s the lingering shame that has to go.”
    • “Shame doesn’t care what you’re saying or asking. It just wants you quiet, inoffensive, invisible -“safe”. Opening that big mouth habitually builds that shameless muscle.”
  • Obsessed is having the inner drive to excel. “When you’re obsessed, you find the discipline to get out of your own way” and adopt a growth mindset where everything can be learned: “I’m not the leader I need to be yet”, while taking care of your physical and mental health and having proper boundaries.
    • “Obsession derives from two convictions: (1) that what you want matters and (2) that you can achieve what you want with sufficient effort.”
    • “You will never grow and evolve without pushing yourself to do the hard, careful and deliberate work that tests the limits of your capabilities.”
  • Nosy is letting curiosity be a compass, without being too aggressive, obnoxious or disrespectful in interactions with others.
    • “Ask [questions] politely, prioritize the mutual win and act on what you learn”.
    • “Answer questions with the same degree of vulnerability, authenticity and candor you expect from others.”
  • Manipulative is not about using others but “being influential, inspiring, motivating and persuasive” by adding positive energy in any room – in a truthful and authentic way.
    • “Warmth isn’t being complicated. It can be as simple as framing a neutral message in a more positive way.”
  • Brutal is being “direct, clear and consistent with your words and actions.”
    • “To achieve your goals, you must commit to spending your time and energy in accordance with your true priorities, no matter how painful it sometimes feels.”
    • “Brutal frees up time, energy and mental bandwidth”.
  • Reckless is to “err on the side of action”.
    • “You can seek perfection or progress. Not both. And, unlike perfection, progress is possible.”
    • “To the fragile ego, any failure is unacceptable. Successful people fail far more than most people do.”
  • Bossy is about being a “genuine boss: an empathic, supportive, yet decisive leader who knows when to speak up and when to listen, when to let the team figure a problem out themselves, and when to step in with help and a fresh perspective.”
    • “Use your power responsibly”.

This book review by Growth Is A Journey is an invitation for readers to discover the book in its entirety.

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Managing Overwhelm

Diocletian Palace – Cathedral Bell Tower, Split, Croatia

Nelson Mandela once said: “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Likewise, being productive and determined in the pursuit of one’s goals does not mean living a life without overwhelm. It is quite likely that sooner or later, or at repeated times, we find ourselves in a state of overwhelm, challenged by the scope or number of challenges to tackle, be it at home, work or both.

Overwhelm is usually experienced as anxiety, stress, or lack of control over our daily routines and life experiences.

The feeling of overwhelm is not entirely bad news, as long as we are dealing with it effectively.  This doesn’t mean that we should focus our energies to banish it once and forever. It simply means that every time we feel overwhelmed, as often as that might happen, we don’t spin out of control, but we use our gained awareness for self-empowerment, by turning the state of overwhelm into a steppingstone for growth and as feedback for continuous improvements in our lives.

There are three simple steps to managing overwhelm, which I call ABC:

  • Step 1: Acknowledge
    • Taking gauge of our overwhelm levels is critical to avoiding burnout and operating at our highest productivity levels. Chronic or acute pain, lack of sleep or other physical ailments are typical signs of overwhelm or even burnout.
    • The act of acknowledging overwhelm is allowing us to pause before some recalibration and action. We are, often times, one deep breath away from the path that leads to success.
  • Step 2: Be bold
    • Simply acknowledging that we are overwhelmed does not mean conquering overwhelm. Even if we might not feel like it, it is important to set ourselves into motion – by thinking of what’s most important for us to do in that moment, and what steps we can take. Then, simply go about it and do it! This could include making a phone call, signing up for a class, or simply taking a nap or many naps if you are chronically tired.
    • Boldness can be in the action to be taken but it could also be in what we are deciding to no longer act upon, or in what could be placed on hold, abandoned or replaced.
    • This step is, at the end, deciding in that particular moment what our top priorities are – at least on the very short term – which ought to be aligned with our top values and in touch with our limited time and resources. This can be done by assessing what can wait, what is time sensitive, what is important, what can be delegated, or where we might need to get help…If this part is hard, use the 5-year test … imagine yourself 5 years from now and think of what would matter the most that you have done or achieved in that moment.
  • Step 3: Celebrate
    • We are human beings and not human doings.
    • Often times, we underestimate the power of rewarding ourselves after taking a first step, reaching a milestone or meeting a goal. The more we celebrate ourselves and grow into our biggest cheerleaders, the happier and more resilient we become.
    • A reward can take many forms including rest, time set aside for a hobby, or simply being around positive people, who understand the cathartic power of celebrating wins and victories of ourselves and of these around us.

As simple as these ABC steps might appear, they are effective because they are pushing us away from overwhelm into an empowered mindset, confident in and at peace about our choices, priorities and immediate action.

And if you are on the lookout for some further tips on managing overwhelm, several listed below were learned the hard way on my own personal and professional journey:

  • Every time you remember something to do or act upon, write it down in your notebook, planner, or your calendar, …
  • Do a regular brain dump…listing all items that are on your mind, some of them turned into clutter.
  • If you can’t make progress or you have too many things you would like to accomplish, make a point to spend 15 minutes on each of your goals every day or have dedicated blocks of time in the week for your top 3 goals. If you have more than 3 goals, think about what can be put on hold or sequenced in a way that doesn’t put stress on your limited resources. Think what goals could be thought of in terms of ranges and could be deemed achieved whether it’s at minimum, average or maximum levels: e.g. the goal of being fit could be deemed achieved in a week by going to the gym anywhere between 2 and 5 times.
  • Be mindful of how many workstreams are started vs completed. It can be more productive and less stressful to not start something new, until the item that might clutter your planner, or mental and physical energy is covered. Sometimes it takes overall less energy to get that item done, rather than to carry it through on your to-do list from a day, week, month to another – taxing your energy and happiness levels.
  • Ask for help, rest, take breaks. This is something that could make type A personalities uncomfortable, while high achievers understand that balance and high productivity are not something we achieve 24/7 but an optimization function across emotions, resources, energy, and responsibilities.

Although our brains like us to think we are perpetually in survival mode, it behooves us to draw a line in the sand and pragmatically deal with overwhelm. We are powerful human beings with the capacity to pause, take action, then celebrate; these are three simple steps which, if turned into a lifestyle, have the potential to lead to beautiful and fulfilling lives.