At the beginning of every year, there is a lot of talk and writing done about New Year’s Resolutions. Many become already obsolete or failed attempts by the end of January.

I’m a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, goals and vision boards. I started doing some of these practices with my kids as well to get them to think of life achievements in many ways, including in terms of setting and reaching specific goals.

New Year’s and birthdays, are a great time to set new resolutions and goals because we benefit from the “fresh start effect”, a psychological boost that helps us build momentum for creating change and new habits. But one of the most critical considerations for successful resolutions is commitment. How committed are we to our goals?

As a kid, every time my mom asked me to do something, she always reminded me to first get committed to doing it well. I wondered at times if she had some magic power to know when I was not committed 100% because she knew it. Once, she told me to stop doing something I was doing to help in the house and go back and play. I felt the sting of disappointing my mom but above all, I got the lesson that shaped my strong work and learning ethic. A job well done is one that starts with the commitment of doing a good job. Not a perfect job … but one to which best effort is put forward. Perhaps not accidentally, that little kid went on to be valedictorian in her high school and a top-ranked student in the national and international universities she had the opportunity to attend.

Returning to the concept of New Year’s resolutions, to which goal or goals are we really committed to?

… To put the best effort forward even when no one watches.

… To take matters into our own hands and design a strategy with the resources and ideas we have today. No perfection required, just a genuine start.

… To do the hard work even when the easy work could be tempting.

… To be consistent with habits or action that are required to reach our goal.

… To start again tomorrow even if we feel we might have failed today.

… To take grasp of the momentum created over time with consistency and efforts, and adjust as necessary to reach the end goal.

Sometimes, our commitment is driven by pressure, social comparison or fears. But this type of commitment is weak and cannot endure. Pursuing goals from such commitment usually leads to stress, burnout or lack of fulfillment.

Real commitment comes when we set resolutions from our most honest and sturdiest self. If clarity lacks, there are a few questions that can help. For instance:

• If there is one goal/change that if achieved by the end of the year would make you truly happy – what would that be?
• How would you like this year/chapter of life to be remembered and how can you get there?
• Start with the end in mind – at the end of your life, what would you like people to say about you and your impact?

The question is not what New Year’s Resolutions we have set.

The real question is what are we willing to commit to and why?

As James Hollis describes in his book, “Living an Examined Life”:

“Our life begins twice: the day we are born and the day we accept the radical existential fact that our life, for all its delimiting factors, is essentially ours to choose. And the moment when we open to that invitation and step into that accountability, we take on the power of choice.”