Posted on by Helene Johnson

Book Review: Wild Courage

Book: Wild Courage, Go After What You Want And Get It

Author: Jenny Wood, a former successful executive at Google, and a speaker and writer on leadership development

Key message of the book: “Wild Courage” is an easy-to-read book, written with a clear purpose to fuel your personal and professional growth ambitions. With a lot of anecdotes and funny stories from her own life and career, the author is reframing nine negatively labeled traits into skills to develop to achieve success.

Each of these nine traits is defined by the author with the word “courage”:

  • Weird is “the courage to stand out”.
  • Selfish is “the courage to stand up for what you want”.
  • Shameless is “the courage to stand behind your efforts and abilities”.
  • Obsessed is “the courage to set your own standard”.
  • Nosy is “the courage to dig deeper”.
  • Manipulative is “the courage to influence others”.
  • Brutal is “the courage to protect your time and energy”.
  • Reckless is “the courage to take calculated risks”.
  • Bossy is “the courage to listen and lead”.

Courage is presented as key to success: “Successful people take action despite their fear. They muster the courage to do what’s necessary to succeed before it’s encouraged by others -or even considered socially acceptable.”

Each trait is defined in a new perspective, a constructive and positive one, in a way that makes it clear why such trait is necessary to get what we want in life.

  • Weird is owning your greatest strengths and being authentic about them “instead of second-guessing yourself out of desperation to fit in.”
    • “It’s about being yourself and revealing that self appropriately, both in your resume and everywhere else.”
    • “Figuring out who you are – how you think and solve problems, what you enjoy and dislike, the values that matter most -is essential in (a) deciding what to chase in life and (b) actually catching in.”
  • Selfish is the courage to “champion your agenda at least as strongly as you champion the needs of others.”
    • “Fighting for yourself just as enthusiastically as you fight for your friends and colleagues.”
  • Shameless is “no more apologizing for who you are and what you can do”. While shame is “a normal and healthy reaction”, “applying shame’s energy to finding a solution brings relief. Taking action tells your brain that you’re solving the problem. It’s the lingering shame that has to go.”
    • “Shame doesn’t care what you’re saying or asking. It just wants you quiet, inoffensive, invisible -“safe”. Opening that big mouth habitually builds that shameless muscle.”
  • Obsessed is having the inner drive to excel. “When you’re obsessed, you find the discipline to get out of your own way” and adopt a growth mindset where everything can be learned: “I’m not the leader I need to be yet”, while taking care of your physical and mental health and having proper boundaries.
    • “Obsession derives from two convictions: (1) that what you want matters and (2) that you can achieve what you want with sufficient effort.”
    • “You will never grow and evolve without pushing yourself to do the hard, careful and deliberate work that tests the limits of your capabilities.”
  • Nosy is letting curiosity be a compass, without being too aggressive, obnoxious or disrespectful in interactions with others.
    • “Ask [questions] politely, prioritize the mutual win and act on what you learn”.
    • “Answer questions with the same degree of vulnerability, authenticity and candor you expect from others.”
  • Manipulative is not about using others but “being influential, inspiring, motivating and persuasive” by adding positive energy in any room – in a truthful and authentic way.
    • “Warmth isn’t being complicated. It can be as simple as framing a neutral message in a more positive way.”
  • Brutal is being “direct, clear and consistent with your words and actions.”
    • “To achieve your goals, you must commit to spending your time and energy in accordance with your true priorities, no matter how painful it sometimes feels.”
    • “Brutal frees up time, energy and mental bandwidth”.
  • Reckless is to “err on the side of action”.
    • “You can seek perfection or progress. Not both. And, unlike perfection, progress is possible.”
    • “To the fragile ego, any failure is unacceptable. Successful people fail far more than most people do.”
  • Bossy is about being a “genuine boss: an empathic, supportive, yet decisive leader who knows when to speak up and when to listen, when to let the team figure a problem out themselves, and when to step in with help and a fresh perspective.”
    • “Use your power responsibly”.

This book review by Growth Is A Journey is an invitation for readers to discover the book in its entirety.

Posted on by Helene Johnson

Resolutions vs Commitment

At the beginning of every year, there is a lot of talk about New Year’s Resolutions. Many of them become already obsolete or failed attempts by the end of January.

I’m a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, goals and vision boards. I started doing some of these practices with my kids as well to get them to think of life achievements in many ways, including in terms of setting and reaching specific goals.

New Year’s and birthdays are a great time to set new resolutions and goals because we benefit from the “fresh start effect”, a psychological boost that helps us build momentum for creating change and new habits. But one of the most critical considerations for successful resolutions is commitment.

How committed are we to our goals?

As a kid, every time my mom asked me to do something, she always reminded me to first get committed to doing it well. I wondered at times if she had some magic power to know when I was not committed 100% because she knew it. Once, she told me to stop doing something I was doing to help in the house and go back and play. I felt the sting of disappointing my mom but above all, I got the lesson that shaped my strong work and learning ethic. A job well done is one that starts with the commitment of doing a good job. Not a perfect job … but one to which best effort is put forward.

Returning to the concept of New Year’s resolutions, to which goal or goals are we really committed to?

… To put the best effort forward even when no one watches.

… To take matters into our own hands and design a strategy with the resources and ideas we have today. No perfection required, just a genuine start.

… To do the hard work even when the easy work could be tempting.

… To be consistent with habits, behavior or action that are required to reach our goal.

… To start again tomorrow even if we feel we might have failed today.

… To take ownership of the momentum created over time with consistency and efforts, and adjust as necessary to reach the end goal.

Sometimes, our commitment is driven by pressure, social comparison or fears. But this type of commitment is weak and cannot endure. Pursuing goals from such commitment usually leads to stress, burnout or lack of fulfillment.

Real commitment comes when we set resolutions from our most honest and sturdiest self. If clarity lacks, there are a few questions that can help. For instance:

  • If there is one goal or change that if achieved by the end of the year would make you truly happy – what would that be?
  • How would you like this year or chapter of life to be remembered and how can you get there?
  • Start with the end in mind – at the end of your life, what would you like people to say about you?

The question is not what New Year’s Resolutions we have set.

The real question is what are we willing to commit to and why?

As a practical application of this reflection, think about any goal you have set or are considering setting for this year, and go through the above questions to test your commitment to it. This can be done for both personal and professional goals. Only when we are ready to truly commit to what it entails to reach a goal – meaning understanding our what, why and how – we can position ourselves for successfully reaching it. And most of the time, the real success is not in reaching a specific goal, it is in the growth achieved in the process. 

As James Hollis describes in his book, “Living an Examined Life”:

“Our life begins twice: the day we are born and the day we accept the radical existential fact that our life, for all its delimiting factors, is essentially ours to choose. And the moment when we open to that invitation and step into that accountability, we take on the power of choice.”